Something is Brewing
by WilfredBramble
Summary: Nick lets his guard down with Jess, and almost acts on the attraction. If only he hadn't stopped her in the hallway... A/U where "Cooler" kiss doesn't happen.
1. Chapter 1

Sleep probably wasn't going to come tonight, not that that had been out of the ordinary. He knew there was no chance he would get his heart to slow down in the next few hours. The image of her questioning face after he blurted out the words "not like this". He wouldn't be forgetting that for quite some time. That look though would be second on a list of unforgettable looks to the one he would get later when he stopped her in their hallway.

The moment after he grabbed her arm, all his gumption from Trench-Coat Nick faded away. He tried to recall what drove him to act without thinking, because immediately after, a million things were running through that damn head of his. He wanted nothing more than to show all of his thoughts, fears, and emotions in his actions, but his body failed him, and he froze. Her eyes were questioning why she had been stopped dead in her tracks.

The last conversation popped into his head along with the smug look on Sam's face when he said, "Well, he's missing out."

He couldn't shake the feeling of jealousy when Sam uttered those words. He wanted to at least let Jess know that he knew he was on the outside of something special.

"I have a pretty damn good idea what I'm missing out on," Nick stated in a low, husky voice.

Before he turned to his bedroom, he swore he saw about fifty emotions in those damn eyes of hers. Surprise had to be at the top of her list, but there were plenty of others that made all of his senses go berserk. He always felt there was something more between the two of them, and so much of those feelings were confirmed in her face. The lack of strength from the trench coat made a little easier to turn from her and retreat to his bedroom.

Nope, sleep was a fruitless endeavor tonight.

The days following their brief, one-sided, one-sentence conversation were more within the norm for the loft. Every now and then they would be alone, and Nick wouldn't dare muster up the same bravado from that night. Jess would make certain to catch his eyes though, and he thought he saw a new softness to her look, something that hinted that she fully understood the sentiment of his words. No more verbal communication came of it though, which frankly Nick was ok with. He let his guard down only for a second, and he almost spilled a lot of feelings he would rather deny. Denial seemed to be easier than dealing with any further consequences. Jess was with Sam, and expressing anything further than what he had would result someone's feelings getting hurt. That was fallout that Nick couldn't risk, especially if it would have been Jess that got hurt.

Bury it, squash it, do whatever you had to do. That would be the plan. It really was already the existing plan, but Nick needed to repeat to himself as a reminder. Jess had Sam. Sam could take care of her, make her happy. Jess was happy. That was the bottom-line. That was what mattered.


	2. Chapter 2: Bailing

You could have fooled Nick, but it was supposedly a wonderful summer's day in LA. There was a brief reprieve from the usual heat wave, and a refreshing breeze blowing in from the Pacific Ocean. All he cared about was there wasn't a new drama to deal with that day. The previous month had its share, including his fathers' passing and Cece's failed wedding attempt. Not least of all to mention Schmidt's lady-choice drama.

Schmidt had ultimately chosen the single life, but Nick assumed it was because he was too chicken to make such an important choice that would hurt at least one person he cared about. If Nick was being honest with himself, he could relate to him. Schmidt had recently been using his new-found free time to join Nick at the bar and treat Clyde's as if it was his own personal Festivus poll to air his grievances.

"Why can't they understand I need at least 6-8 weeks to make such an important decision?"

"…these women are going to cause me stress wrinkles…"

"…I've gained at least half a percent of BMI body fat since they started their little game…"

Under normal circumstances, Nick would have been less than pleased to have the new-found company. He understood his old friend though, and knew deep down he was really struggling.

"What about you Nick, where are your female prospects these days? Not banging any more of your superiors are you?"

"Not really on the lookout right now," Nick replied flatly.

"It still astounds me with your complete lack of pride in your physical appearance, you still have been able to pull down a decent amount of tail."

Nick chuckled to himself. "At least somebody is impressed, I guess."

Nick looked up as he heard the familiar sound of the door opening to see Winston roll in. He bellied up on the stool next to Schmidt.

"Evening fellas, how we doing tonight?" Winston was in decent mood these days.

"Well, I'm at work listening to Schmidt insult my intelligence and my body. I think that about brings you up to speed."

"So, par for the course," Winston replied.

"Please, I'm merely stating very obvious and quantifiable facts."

Speaking directly to Nick, Winston shook his head. "Have we revoked the moratorium on the jar yet?"

Nick shrugged. "I've let it slide all night, figured I would cut him some slack."

Nick grabbed the guys a fresh round of beers, and steeled himself for the conversation he was about to have with his two oldest friends. He wanted to crack one open for himself, but he figured there would be plenty of time for that after closing.

"I suppose you guys are wondering why I wanted both of you here tonight."

Winston and Schmidt gave small nods while taking swigs of their beers.

"I know I have told you guys that my mom is having a hard time with things since Walt died. Well, I just want to make certain that she is taken care first and foremost. So, I've decided I'm going to move back home to Chicago." The last sentence trailed off in volume.

Both Nick's roommates just stared at him. He hadn't expected a positive reaction, and the looks on their faces confirmed that suspicion. Schmidt especially looked on the verge of some sort of breakdown.

Schmidt broke the silence. "Does this have to do with my lack of respect for you, and pretty much all of your life choices?"

"Shut up, Schmidt. It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with what I need to do for my family. I need to be there for them, especially since Jamie has been pretty much worthless."

Winston nodded again briefly, though he looked unconvinced. "Hey, you got to do what you got to do man. I'm really going to miss you around here. I do have one question. Have you told Jess yet?"

"Not yet. I think she is staying at Sam's place tonight. If you could do me a favor and not let her know until I tell her. I would greatly appreciate it."

"Sure thing, man."

Another day, another evening shift. Except this time the LA weather was far gloomier with an unseasonal rain storm. As predicted, Jess did not come home the previous night. This made it easier for Nick's other roommates since they didn't have to avoid or lie to her about his plans. He hoped he could tell her soon, mostly so that he could get it out in the open. As uncomfortable as the conversation was with Winston and Schmidt yesterday, he planned this meeting to be met with a little more resistance. He fired off a text to get things started.

_Hey, could you stop by the bar whenever you get a chance. I've got some news._

_Sure thing Nick! Is it good news? I hope its good news._

_Just stop by when you get the chance, I'll be here til close._

He didn't really know how to reply to her honest question. The picture in his mind was of Jess falling over herself trying to get out the door, panicking at the ambiguity of his response. Good work, Miller. Ger her all worked up before you tell her you are skipping town.

Sure enough, within half an hour Jess strolled through the door. Looking slightly disheveled, she still had the power to force Nick to have second thoughts. She came up to the bar and gave Nick a weak smile. Nick went ahead and poured her a glass of her usual wine.

"So, Nick Miller, the bearer of news…" she opened the conversation a little nervously.

"First things first Jess, relax. This is not that serious. It is just something I wanted to tell you in person, sooner rather than later."

At Nick's request, Jess eased her body onto a bar stool, thankful that her worst fears of the contents of Nick's "news" were most likely unfounded.

Nick stared at the wood grain of the bar intently, mustering up the words he knew had to be said. He opted for bluntness.

"Jess, I'm moving back to Chicago."

A mixture of shock with a tinge of disappointment came across Jess' face. She certainly wasn't expecting this for any reason. Reading her expression, Nick continued with an explanation.

"My mom is having a real tough go of it since Walt died. It's weird, he was never around, but she still acts as if he was doing something for her. I just feel like I need to be there for her now. Given my current working situation, I feel like I have that flexibility. You know, to pack up and leave"

The shocked expression was now one full of concern. Jess was struggling to process what she had just heard.

Nick was leaving.

Nick Miller, the roommate she felt closest to, was leaving.

"I can't lie, Miller. Selfishly, I feel like this is bad news. Like, really bad news."

"I know, it feels weird for me to say the least. I say I'm moving to Chicago because it hardly feels like I'm truly moving home. I've been here in LA long enough, it feels like home"

Jess knew exactly how he felt. She loved visiting her parents in Oregon, but the loft was her home now. Except now, a big piece of that home was moving out. "Are you sure you couldn't go back and maybe visit more often?"

Nick tried to remain calm. He expected her to resist his plan. He also knew he would struggle to deny her the honest answer for why he was leaving. He was afraid he would do something to screw up Jess' relationship, to finally act on the _sometimes_ attraction.

"Jess…I'm doing this for my family…ok?"

The predominant thought in her head was of the tension that was still very real between the two of them since that night of True American. Neither one spoke of it, it seemed it was easier that way. Looking at Nick, she could see a man who was doing everything in his power to put on a good show, to play it cool. It wasn't working.

"Well Nick, if you ever want to talk about anything…I'm still here."

Had Jess just given him an open door to talk about his feelings? She should know better than anyone that wasn't happening. So he remained silent. After a few moments, she downed the rest of her wine, grabbed her purse and turned to the door. She stopped at the door, turned around and gave Nick another look with a slight hurt in her eyes. Just as quickly, she turned back and left the bar. With Jess gone, Nick let out a long sigh.

"Well…that could have gone worse."

The next morning came and Nick walked to the loft kitchen to grab some food. He found Jess sitting at the dining table by herself. She looked up from her breakfast and gave Nick polite "Good Morning". Nick grumbled in response.

As he made a line for the carafe, Jess spoke again, "Nick, I owe you an apology for last night. If you leave, it is just not going to be the same without you. I acted selfishly, and I'm sorry." Jess took a sip of her tea and continued. "Honestly though, you don't need to explain. You're being a good son, and family is everything. I will say though, your loft family is going to miss you…a lot."

Nicks' mind flashed to that night in the hallway. The look she gave him when he stopped her, how there were similar elements to that look as the look in her eyes now. Oh, _damn those eyes_.

Jess interrupted Nick's train of thought. "I really hope you'll be happy there. Just do me a favor Nick and don't forget about us, okay?" She added goofy grin for more effect.

"Don't worry, I won't become a stranger."

As her grin became more of a genuine smile, a scary thought entered his head.

Nick knew there was no way he could ever forget her.


	3. Chapter 3: Opportunity

"Nicky, do you have enough blankets? I don't want you to get cold tonight."

After a sigh and a heavy eye roll Nick acknowledged his mother's question. "No, Mah. I'm good. Night."

It was three weeks since he had moved out of the loft, and he still couldn't get his mother to quit fretting over the small things. He assumed it had something to do with the way she was handling the grief of losing her husband. Maybe it had just been that long since she had someone at home to fret over, and her motherly ways were coming back to her. Either way, Nick didn't need any more blankets. An overabundance of blankets reminded him of an overabundance of pillows, which of course reminded him of Jess. He thought as time wore on he would find less and less things that reminded her of him, but that just wasn't the case. His mother worrying about his excess warmth in bed at night was just the latest example.

He kept telling himself that things could be worse, and it was true. He never heard the noises of late night activities coming from across the hall in his child home like he would in LA. That certainly made it easier to sleep at night. This was counterbalanced by the fact that he rarely ever heard her voice anymore. He knew he would miss his good friend, but it surprised him how much he missed their simple daily interactions. The brief morning chats. Debating about nothing in the evenings, or arguing drunkenly over whether Winston or Schmidt would win in a high-stakes Jenga match. He missed so many things about her, things that he didn't take much notice about with his other two former roommates.

Nick tossed to his other side in his old bed, taking a glance at the clock.

11:38pm.

If he could push thoughts of her out of his head soon, he could still get enough sleep for tomorrow. His Chicago routine was very different from his LA routine. He found work as a bartender of course, but only evening shifts. During the day he would get up at a decent hour and usually do some work through a temp agency. Office monkey, random physical labor, things that didn't need fancy fixing, it wasn't ideal but a guy with no recent career experience outside of serving drinks didn't exactly get the pick of the litter for employment. Still, he was working and usually had enough cash for him and his Mom's expenses. Far from living high-on-the-hog as Bonnie would say, but certainly still eating.

As he thought about working at the state agency the next morning, thoughts of sorting and filing papers bored him enough to distract his brain, and soon he was asleep.

Another forgettable day at the random forgettable office, and he was enjoying a rather slow Wednesday evening at O'Malley's Pub. While he never disliked Clyde's at all, this place was more his style, fitting his Midwestern sensibilities. Rarely was there ever much plastic or Botox at a place like this. Clyde's would certainly be considered a dive by LA standards, but this place was a _dive_. And that suited Nick Miller just fine. He served one of the four beers on tap to what he had learned was a regular, and pulled out his ringing phone. Looking at the caller ID, he could see it was his idiot brother, Jamie, calling.

"Hey Jamie, I'm at work, what's going on."

"Hey, that's perfect, you mind if I pop on by?"

"Shouldn't be a problem tonight."

"Cool, I'll see you in twenty."

Nick hung up, placed the phone back in his pocket, and made a note to check to see if they still had his brother's favorite beer in stock. Unsure of why his brother needed to see him at one of his two jobs, he continued with the mundane task of taking inventory of the beer cooler.

He hadn't paid attention to how much time had passed, as he knew he would notice the less-than-subtle Jamie walking into the bar. Jamie true to his fashion did not disappoint.

"Well if it isn't the uglier of the Miller brothers!" Jamie bellowed out from the bar's doorway.

Nick contorted his mouth in his usual disproving way. "You do realize you called yourself ugly on some level?"

"Always backtracking to the fancy book-learning with your sematies…"

"…semantics?"

"…yet still slinging drinks to us common folk!"

"You could have just called me ugly, therefore not lumping yourself into the ugly group as well."

Jamie continued to ignore him. "Speaking of, where is my usual pale ale?"

Someday Nick would realize using lawyer logic, or any kind of logic, with Jamie was a lost cause. Cracking open the beer, he slid it to his eager brother, who gratefully took a long drink. For all the grief Nick could give Jamie for his lack of wisdom, he was genuinely glad to be living closer to him.

"So what brings you here tonight?"

"Not even gonna warm up to me, alright. Well Nicky, an opportunity has presented itself."

"Right now, I am going to ask you to refrain from using any of Dad's phrases when discussing 'opportunities'. I will immediately assume you are trying to scam me."

Jamie couldn't help but laugh at his brother. He was a little too young to remember most of his dad's schemes, but the stories usually grew into legends retold throughout the neighborhood. He took a moment to reflect on the fact that he missed hearing of his dad's exploits, even if they were less than scrupulous, and continued.

"I can assure you Nicky, everything is legit, on the up-and-up."

Nick shrugged and waited for Jamie to continue.

"You remember that funeral I went to last week? Deann's Uncle Jimmy?"

"Was he the big fat guy with jet black hair that smelled like Pine Sol? I think I only met him once, sometime after your impromptu wedding"

"That's the guy! Anyway, turns out the guy was loaded. I mean LOOOOOOOOADED! I just always assumed he was super cheap. So get this, apparently few people in the family got along with the guy, never had any kids or anything, and he always liked Deann, so he put her in the will. Bottom line, we just inherited a shitload of money!"

Seeing the excited look on his younger brother's face, Nick couldn't help but smile. He knew all too well how Jamie had struggled monetarily through most of life, much like himself. Jamie may have been an idiot, but deep down he was a real good guy, and Deann was a sweetheart to put up with him. It was nice to see good things happen to good people. Except it was at the cost of the life of a sad lonely man who had smelled like floor polish. Well, life was never perfect.

"Being nice to someone, and they repay you from the grave. Well there is a silver lining in everything I guess," Nick thought aloud. It wasn't lost on him that he was subconsciously looking for the positives to most situations. It was a recent development, one that he often pushed the blue-eyed source of deep in the recesses of his brain. "You mentioned an opportunity?"

"Yeah, well…Deann and talked about it, and we agreed that we wanted to invest a large portion of the money into a business with my old friend Tony. We want to open a brewery!"

The excitement coming from Jamie was obvious. Nick was getting a little apprehensive at the thought of his brother being a business owner, but he remembered Tony, and he always seemed like a decent guy.

"Ok, so what exactly is Tony bringing to the table?"

"I thought you would never ask! He's spent some time studying to be a brewmaster, been doing the small-scale stuff for a while now. He's been saving up but never had enough money to get it off the ground. Deann and I would provide the seed money, he'll do all the brewing."

"The plan sounds immediately better since you said you would be less directly involved. But have you seriously thought this through? I mean, this is a big risk."

"Nicky, come on man! Live a little."

"Live a little is what you tell someone who is too chicken to run naked into the ocean, not what you think when making a life-altering investment."

"Look, if it fails, Deann and I are no worse off than we were a month ago when we didn't know this pile of money existed. BUT if it doesn't fail, we would be successful small business owners."

For once the guy had made a decent point. Nick couldn't deny that it was certainly better than blowing it on something truly frivolous. It would also be a legitimate business, far from anything his dad ever did. Jamie's voice brought Nick back to reality.

"There is one more thing Nick. I want you in on it too."

Nick laughed out loud at this idea. "There is no secret uncle I have kept from you that left me a pile of money bro, so sorry, I am out."

"Tony can't run the thing by himself. He's going to need help. You could be that help, I mean, you've basically been running bars since you dropped out of law school, right? I want you in on the ground floor of this, ok? Here is the deal. If it works, if it is successful, and we make our money back, Deann and I will give you part of our ownership share."

Nick's eyes went wide with panic. Was Jamie just offering up the opportunity to work his way into owning a business? There was no way in hell anyone could tell how this whole thing would go down, no way to see if this would crash and burn. And all that responsibility…

"You alright, bro?"

"You can just google panic attack. I think you will see many similarities to me right now."

"Just promise me you will think about it." Jamie polished off his beer and continued, "With or without you, we are doing this. I know you hate going to those stuffy offices in the day. So why not do what you do here, except with the possibility of a future." With that, Jamie gave Nick a smile, and left the bar.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm heading out of town for a wedding, so I thought I would give you a quick update. Thanks as always for reading. I have also been ambiguous up to this point, but I own nothing.**

Chapter 4: Freak-outs and Decisions

Nick's mind raced through the remainder of his shift. After finally closing up shop for the night, he started his walk home. He truly loved these kind of evenings, where it was not too hot during the day but not so cold at night that you would freeze your ass off. It was a great night to throw on a hoodie and try to make sense of what exactly had happened that night, all while sauntering the streets of Chicago.

Unfortunately the walk did nothing to sort out all the thoughts and unanswered questions running through his mind. Why was Jamie even offering him in on the business in the first place? What would he do if he jumped in and it failed? Could he go back to O'Malley's after a few months if that was the case? What if Tony's beer recipes were shit? I mean people will drink shit beer, but what if it is _shit_? Why was Jamie being so generous? Jamie was Walt's son too, there had to be a scheme or a catch.

He decided to at least get that nagging question sorted out and called Jamie. So he might wake him, he needed to find this out. Jamie picked up after three rings.

"Hello?"

Nick jumped on him straight away. "What the hell is the catch? There is no way I can get in on this without there being some catch!"

"Or for god's sake Nick, there is no catch man! It's good to hear from you too," the sarcasm was seeping through the phone. "Look…you were always there for me and Ma. Walt put us all in a tight squeeze more than once, and you always pulled through for us. No kid should ever have to go through that, but you did. You were our rock." Jamie paused, Nick had never heard his brother talk about him like this, not even at Walt's funeral, and it took him completely by surprise. "I just thought that this could be my small way of saying 'thank you' and repaying you for always being there."

"I…I don't know what to say…" Nick was frankly touched by Jamie's sincerity.

"You could say 'thanks', you could say 'I am in', you could say 'I will think about it', heck, you could even say 'go pound sand', just don't call me for the next eight hours while I am trying to sleep."

"Yeah, sorry about calling you so late, I was just going a little crazy thinking about all of this."

"No worries, we'll talk more later, ok?"

"Ok, night Jamie."

Hanging up his phone, he had finally made it to his Mom's house. Going inside, grabbing a beer from the fridge, and quietly making his way to his room, he plopped onto his bed. His head was no clearer than before his conversation with Jamie. The underlying problem was that Nick was scared. There was simply no denying it. Even though he would face no true financial risk himself, he would be partly responsible for Jamie's financial burden to try to get the place to be profitable. Nick played out as many scenarios he could think of in his head and there was no way of knowing how this would turn out. The safe play would probably be to invest the money in something other than a new business, but Nick didn't know the first thing about investing. And in fairness to Jamie and Deann, it wasn't Nick's call to make. Jamie's mind was made up, he was going to move forward with his plan.

Predictably, the one beer had not provided Nick with the answers he sought either. He toyed with the idea of looking for the solution at the bottom of the next bottle, but knew that wasn't going to help tonight. Absent-mindedly he found himself fidgeting with his phone, and the thought of calling or texting Jess for advice kept running through the back of his mind. He hadn't spoken to her since he had moved to Chicago, only communicating through a couple of text messages about less important subjects.

He realized then how much he had missed hearing her voice every day. These were the type of thoughts he had run away from by coming to Chicago, but it hadn't fully helped. A man can only bury things so deep before they would come back with a vengeance. This would be a perfect opportunity to catch up with her, she would be ecstatic to hear from him, especially considering the predicament he found himself in. He could imagine her eyes lighting up like the Fourth of July with the news that Nick Miller was going to try to make it as a business owner. Here he had a chance to jump into something without knowing the outcome, leaping into the unknown. Damn, she _had_ rubbed off on him quite a bit.

He also knew that she would believe in him. He thought back to how she had told him he could accomplish so much, if he only would apply himself. And now his chance to apply himself was staring him right in the face, a chance to prove her right. His chance to put himself together like all the guys she had dated, to be someone worthy of a woman like Jess. His chance to build something with his family that was legitimate, unlike any of his father's exploits.

He hadn't noticed his heart was racing as he was looking at his phone with the intention to call her growing. Taking a few deep breaths, he calmed himself, and dialed Jess' number. Taking more deep breaths, he listened to the ringing sound. It was two hours later in LA, she would probably still be up, and she rarely went to bed this early. About 30 seconds later, there was no answer and he heard Jess' voicemail greeting. Nick's heart raced again at the sound of her voice. Even in a recording, she could evoke a strong reaction from him, just by asking to leave a message. Nick opted not to leave a message, but sent her a text after hanging up.

_Hey Jess, give me call when you get the chance. I'll be up for a while tonight._

Nick sat at the edge of his bed after firing off the text. A small smile crept up on his face, as he thought about Jess. Just thinking about her face full of delight for her friend gave him a new confidence. He was sure of it now. He was going to do it. He would do it for his family. He would do it for Jess. He even would do it for himself.

Sam was relaxing in Jess' bed, listening to the faint noise of her humming as she was taking a late shower following her latest "workout". Hearing the familiar ringtone coming from Jess' phone, he took a gander to see who was calling her. Nick's name appeared on the caller ID. Clearly not in a mood to talk to one of Jess' former roommates, he ignored the call. He was honestly glad that Nick had moved away. He never truly felt threatened by Nick, but always was uneasy about how close he and his girlfriend were. Sam knew that if it were him, he would never be able to keep his hands off any woman he was that close with. Noticing that Nick had only called and left no voicemail made Sam feel a little better until he saw the notification for a new text. He could still hear the distinct Jess shower tune coming from the bathroom, so he decided to read the message from Nick.

The idea that some man who lived in Chicago felt comfortable enough to call and text his woman late in the evening unsettled Sam. Taking matters into his own hands, he deleted the missed call, and the text, placing the phone back onto Jess' nightstand where she had left it.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Open for Business

"You make a pretty good sandwich, Tony. I'll give you that. They're almost as good as your beer."

"Thanks Nick. I know it takes a lot to please your palate, so it means a lot," Tony replied grinning sarcastically. Nick and Tony were having a dinner break before wrapping up some finishing touches on the brewery's taproom and bar. It was a Thursday in late August and tomorrow would be the opening day. Preparations had gone relatively smoothly. All the appropriate paperwork had been filed with the city, county, and state offices. Nick was pleased that his law schooling had finally paid some dividends.

Nick, Jamie, and Tony had spent the summer months getting the place ready. The brewery portion of the building had been appointed for its necessary industrial application. The taproom was where Nick had spent the majority of his time working. Once he had committed to the project, he quit O'Malley's. but kept working through the temp agency just to keep some cash flowing in. He would work his eight-to-five, then go to the brewery and work until he was sure he would pass out, head home, and then do it all over again the next day.

This week had brought a little reprieve, as he had finally stopped working through the temp agency, dedicating the entire week up to the opening to the new business. Nick was surprised at how little affect the long hours had on him. In fact, most days he didn't mind that he was putting in sixteen hour days. He could see immediate feedback of his work when he looked at the taproom before leaving for the night. Little by little, the place had finally come together.

The main room for the customers was clean, fitting the look of a new brewery. On one of the long walls was the handmade wooden bar, born of the carpentry skills of one of Tony's friends. The matching wooden tables with stools made for a cozy feel, even with the polished concrete floors, perfect for cleaning up random spills which were bound to happen. Opposite the bar were the windows out to the street, allowing for plenty of natural light. Behind the bar was a chalkboard above the multiple taps, giving ample space to describe the concoctions that Tony dreamed up, as well as the usual mirrored setup to display some of the hard liquors they would serve as a courtesy to the customers who didn't prefer beer.

Nick felt very comfortable in this room. It was clean and neat, yet still honest. Far from pretentious, it reminded him of Tony's beers. His beers were simple, authentic, and straightforward. He could be proud to serve a customer any of the styles of beer on tap. He knew he would be passing along a glass of tasty, damn good beer. It was an unusual feeling that kept creeping up on him, this feeling of pride.

As Nick was wiping clean the last of the glasses, Tony was using a rag to make certain all the drywall dust was removed. Tony announced to nobody in particular, "Yup, we are looking about ready here."

Nick nodded. He could see a nervous smile under his dark brown beard. He had nothing to be truly nervous about. Between himself and Tony, they had covered all the last-minute details, right down to finding jobs that Jamie couldn't screw up. Tony dressed in a light blue t-shirt and worn jeans had the look of a man who knew how to make an elixir to get you drunk.

"I'm thinking I'll be by around noon tomorrow. We should have everything ready for opening the doors at four." Nick was hoping talking about the plan would ease Tony's nerves.

"Yeah, that should work," Tony said flatly.

"He man, relax. Try and get some rest tonight. Big day tomorrow. And no matter what happens, we can only take it a day at a time. We can only worry about what we can control."

Tony took a deep breath and waited a bit before smiling at Nick. "I hear ya. It's just hard to keep calm when you are about to fulfill your professional dream."

Nick let out a small laugh. "I'll say it again. Don't worry. Seriously, try to get some rest, the real work begins soon enough. Are you good to lock up? If so, I'm going to head home."

"Yeah man, I'll see you tomorrow."

As Nick walked out the front doors, he took a few steps away from the façade and pulled out his phone, snapping a picture of the sign above the door.

Perus Brewing

They had agreed to use Bonnie's maiden name for the brewery's name. Tony was on board with it because it was better than Jamie's other suggestion of "ToJam". The whole thing would have been screwed from the beginning if they hadn't vetoed that one.

Nick made his way back to his mom's house, making a mental note to start looking for his own place as soon as he started making some real money. He loved Bonnie, but was ready to feel like a grown man again in his own home. He quickly took off his shoes giving relief to his sore feet, and made his way to the kitchen. There waited one of the few perks of living with your mom. In the microwave, Bonnie had left a plate of leftovers for him. Bless that woman, he thought. He zapped the food and made his way to the recliner in front of the TV.

Nick made quick work of the leftovers and reclined, trying to clear his head of all preparation the three men had done. The only problem this presented is that it gave his brain ample time to think about Jess. During the long days he could ignore his lingering feelings, as well as the unanswered questions. Nick was surprised that Jess didn't return his call when he was going to ask for her advice. It was quite unlike her. What was more unlike her was how she acted when he would text her later about something else, like she had missed nothing, never mentioning how she forgot to call, or was super busy at the time. He didn't like the thought that maybe their friendship was waning, especially since he had always chickened out at the thought of that friendship becoming something more. They had no other real connection now other than friendship. Gone were the daily interactions with the dark-haired woman across the hall.

Nick was unsettled with the unknowing feeling from that night when he tried to talk to her. He still hadn't told anyone in LA that he was diving head first into this new adventure. He knew he would soon enough have to tell one of them in the loft, which would effectively let them all know. For now though, he would wait to see how Perus Brewing would fair after opening.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Revealing

Jess removed her glasses and gave her eyes a good rub. Grading papers never made for the most exciting Friday night, but Sam was working an overnight, and her head start on work would free up the rest of the weekend. Piling the papers back into a neat stack, she went to the fridge and poured herself a glass of wine. A girl has to reward herself when she sticks to her to-do list, she reasoned with herself. Jess had no plans for the remainder of the night and with Winston and Schmidt out, and a working boyfriend, it was time to get friendly with the couch. Taking a few long pulls from her glass, she topped it off again, then headed over to zone out with the television.

She settled on the couch and soon found a channel that always seemed to have sappy movies on Friday and Saturdays. Back before Sam the scene would have been Prime Single Pity Time, but now it was just a reasonable excuse to watch bad movies. Mix in a healthy dose of wine, and a girl couldn't be much happier.

Mildly interested in the trifles of whatever character Katherine Heigl was playing, Jess felt the work week melt away. She had no real reason to be unhappy, she had a hot doctor boyfriend and she had got a job teaching kids again at the start of this school year. Life was good. Quite often though, she was finding herself missing her scruffy former roommate. It was easy to imagine him sitting next to her on the couch complaining about anything and everything involved with the movie. The more empty Heisler bottles accumulated, the more agitated and animated his arguments would become.

Jess' mood changed the more she thought about Nick. When she got her new job, she wanted to tell him in person, to see him smile at how happy she was. He would brag about how right he was for believing in her. There were times she would do anything to get that man to smile, even if it was through a forced turtle-face. The thoughts of the flannel-wearing grumpus made her wish she had either drank less or more wine, she wasn't quite sure which.

The ping of her phone indicating a new email message brought her attention to the device on the arm of the couch. She pulled up her email and saw a new message from Nick. "His ears must have been buurrnning!" she sang to herself. The email had swung her mood back to an excited one, and she hadn't even opened it yet. When she did open the email, it contained no message or subject, just a link to a Chicago Tribune article.

"Good to know your Fridays are as exciting as mine Miller, what with you sending out random news articles."

Opening the link, Jess expected to see any number of things. An article on the health merits of drinking. It could have been the latest study on human behavior and how humans are the worst. It very well could have been the ramblings of a conspiracy theorist in an Opinion column. All of these were viable candidates of articles that could be forwarded from Nick Miller. When the webpage finally loaded and it was nowhere in the neighborhood of those things, it took her a second to digest what she was seeing.

The headline read "New Local Brewpub Pleasantly Surprises". Under it was a picture of a dark-haired man with a beard that Jess didn't recognize. Next to him was Nick's brother Jamie, and then Nick himself. All of the men had smiles on their faces. The caption for the picture labeled these three men as the co-owners of Perus Brewery.

Nick Miller: co-owner of…anything?

What. The. Hell.

Co-owner Nick Miller…smiling. Smiling, and looking damn good doing it, too.

Seriously…what the hell?

Jess went on to quickly read the body of the article. The author noted how the brewpub appeared to cater to all levels of beer drinkers. Everyone the author spoke to felt welcome at Perus. Nobody had any complaints of the beer either. The article went into further detail about the beers they had on tap. As Jess read through, she couldn't help the smile that was growing from ear to ear. After finishing the reading, she realized he would still be up and about since he just sent the email, and decided she needed to hear from him. She dialed his number and waited for him to pick up. He started speaking as soon as he picked up.

"I suppose I should have expected this phone call as soon as I sent that link, huh Jessica?"

"Are you kidding me with this? This isn't a well-disguised Onion article is it Nick?"

Nick smiled to himself as he could hear the disbelief in Jess' voice. "No, it's actually a Tribune review of our new establishment. We officially opened about a month ago."

"When the hell were you going to inform me of this development? This isn't something that happens overnight!" Jess was trying to contain the spectrum of emotions running through her. "I mean, here you are doing something awesome and cool, you can't keep this kind of stuff from me. Seriously Nick, this is amazing!"

"Well, we started all the planning and prepping early this summer. Tony is the guy you haven't met, he's been brewing for years, just never had the capital to get something going…" The excited tone to Nick's voice was not lost on Jess. Nick continued on about how they had gone about getting the business off the ground. They were off to a good start, but still had a long way to go to establishing themselves as a premier brewery in town. Jess let herself just get lost in the sound of Nick. That raspy, husky voice, she yearned to hear it for so long. She yearned for it because she missed her friend dearly. That was as very logical explanation. Nothing more, nothing less. Just missing an old friend.

After Nick got tired of talking about the brewery, he wanted to hear about Jess' new school. Winston had told him that she got her new job, and she was more than willing to talk to Nick about it. It was a conversation she had looked forward to since she officially found out they had offered her the job. Eventually, Nick indicated that he needed to get back to some paperwork that was piling up in the office.

"…it is kind of my contribution, so I want to stay on top it."

Jess knew she should let him go, even if she would have been too happy to keep him occupied. "Well, I already finished my paperwork, so stop slacking over there sailor," ending the sentence with one of her many 40's voices.

The voice elicited a hearty laugh from Nick. It was a quirk that went from annoying as hell to completely endearing, and he sure missed it. "Sure thing, Sergeant."

Jess paused briefly, and then replied, "It was great to hear from you Nick. I'm so glad you are happy there." Jess buried the part of her that just wanted to give Nick a congratulatory hug. "And just a tip, I would expect similar conversations with the other two clowns. Schmidt especially will want to know everything about this place"

"Yeah, I'm pretty much counting on it. It was great to talk to you too, Jess."

"Take care Nick."

As she hung up the phone, her mind tried to make full sense of the conversation. She told herself it was no big deal, but it was eating at her that he didn't tell her about any of this sooner. Jess felt she had barely communicated with Nick since he had moved away, but he seemed happy. There was no way for her to ignore the feeling that her friendship with Nick may not have been as strong as she thought it was. If it was, he would have told her sooner, right?


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Another Leap

"Alright, two Alts, an El Jeffe's Heffe, and a Vanilla Porter. That's twenty even. Did you have a tab open?"

"Yeah, the name is Emily."

"Got it, thanks ma'am. You, you were next?" Nick pointed to a middle-aged man standing directly behind the now leaving Emily.

Nick took the man's drink order and went about filling it. The taproom was more than busy enough for Tony, Jamie, and Nick to man this Saturday night. The positive buzz surrounding Perus Brewing had created a good problem for the men running the joint. They were always busy and there was always something to do. Most weekday evenings there was a decent crowd to keep quenched, but on Saturday's and Sunday afternoons, the place was constantly filled with thirsty patrons. Nick assumed this had mostly to do with the quality of Tony's beer recipes. He wasn't ever going to admit to Schmidt that the advertising advice he had given (unsolicited, he would add) was adding to the crowds, but the results spoke to a different truth.

The brewery so far was a success.

It was the week after Thanksgiving, and the cool of a coming Chicago winter was evident every night. In the three months since opening day, Perus Brewery had gotten steadier and steadier in its crowds, and on its balance sheet. He didn't want to venture a guess and how quickly they could get Jamie and Deann paid off, since he hadn't fully lost his pessimism. Things could still go south, maybe a bad batch or someone's poor review on some random beer rating website. Nick wasn't going to count his chickens before they had fully paid off their egg loan.

Outside of pushing paperwork and ordering ingredients, there was a lot of time spent learning about beer. He had gained far more knowledge of the beer making process. During the slower times on weekdays, he was more than happy to share this knowledge with any patrons who asked, yet he still made certain that Tony led any tours for the customers.

Jamie's voice caught Nick's attention. "Yo Nick! Can you make me a dirty vodka martini for the blondie at table 5, plus a pitcher of the Heffe?"

"Coming right up Jamie."

Jamie spent most of his time on the floor, with Nick and Tony manning the bar except on brewing days. Jamie surprisingly fit in well flitting around with customers. He still hadn't picked up the beer knowledge like Nick, but the people didn't seem to mind. Of the two Miller boys, Jamie got almost all of Walt's charisma. Tony had dubbed it "the Gift of Gab", and he used it to schmooze the patrons expertly. He used it so effectively that he was the co-owner most often remembered by anyone who walked into Perus Brewery.

A loud guffaw bellowed from a group of six at a table that most likely had just heard a dirty joke from Jamie. Looking back on the decision to leap into this mess, Nick couldn't help but smile as he filled more drink orders. There were so many reasons to think this adventure shouldn't work. Instead, it was working quite well for now.

The best part of the busy hours was how quickly the rush would let time pass by. A slurry of pint glasses along with a few lowballs, and before you knew it, it was a quarter 'til closing time. Another benefit of owning a taproom with a brewery as opposed to running just a bar was that the place closed earlier, so you got to go home at a more humane hour. Even with the added responsibility of office work and the long hours, he still wasn't working on vampire time.

Tony called for last call, and after settling up the last of the tabs, the remaining people slowly finished the last of their drinks and started heading out. The three men went to work cleaning up for the night. Tony and Jamie bantered back and forth like you would expect from two old friends. Wiping the last of the tables, Nick went to the back office to count of the take from the day. Somehow he had developed a makeshift system for all of his clerical duties that could best be described as organized chaos. Nick couldn't care less of what someone else thought of his desk. He wasn't using it to pose for magazine covers, it was utilitarian damn it!

With the last of the till counted up, he went back out to the taproom where Jamie and Tony had finished up their closing duties and were enjoying a post-work pint. Nick joined them for a quick one, but declined the offer for a second as he always was reminding himself not to drink the profits. Wishing the guys a good night, he headed out the door for his short walk home. He had just moved into his own place. It was nothing special, an efficiency studio apartment, but he could afford it and his mother didn't live there. With the added bonus of being within walking distance to work, it was an easy sell.

This was his life now, long hours with lots of time with Tony and Jamie. It was not where he thought he would be, but since when did his plans ever really come to fruition. Hell, when did he ever have a plan? Even late in law school, there was no such plan for his future. But these days were different. There was a plan, a future, and a lot of hard work. The one constant through it all though was his time alone at his apartment. At the brewery, there was barely time to get lost in your own head. In the lonely quiet of his home, that's all he could do. Of course, every time, those thoughts would get back to Jess without fail.

For some reason, tonight felt different. He was thinking about her infectious laugh, and realized it had been half a year since he lived with her, yet most nights she was all he could think about. It seemed so ridiculous. The deep emotions and desire were something he was trying to escape, and here was still enamored with thoughts of her. The move to Chicago had done nothing to quell her memory. Another Nick Miller plan goes up in smoke, huge surprise there.

This had to end differently. Nick couldn't just keep thinking about Jess, he needed to tell her how he truly felt. It may be a terrible idea, but at least he could say he tried, gave himself a shot. Finding a resolve and courage he didn't know he possessed, Nick grabbed his phone, scrolled to her name and pressed Dial. He had to let her know…

"Hello, Nick?"

"Hey Jess, how are you doing?"

"I'm good. I didn't expect to hear from you. What's going on?"

Nick noticed his hand was shaking trying to hold the phone still. He had to let her know.

"Jess, I need to tell you something, and I'm going to ask a favor that you don't interrupt me, ok?"

"Ok." Jess replied in a neutral tone. Nick didn't want to think if that was a good thing or a bad thing. There was no time for thinking. He had to get the words out before the oncoming panic could set in.

"Jess, you are an amazing woman. I know my life changed for the better the moment you came into it. You challenged me to challenge myself, and I'll never be able to properly thank you for it." Nick took a steadying breath and plodded forward. "I'm sorry I never was fully honest with you before but you became one of my closest friends and I never should have left without letting you know how I felt, that maybe there could have been something…more…between…us."

"Nick…" Jess' tone was far more cautious this time.

"Please Jess. I just have to say this. Ever since I left, I can't stop thinking about you…"

"Nick…I'm…"

"I miss so much about you and I wish I could be braver sometimes but I needed to let you know that…"

"Nick, I'm engaged." The sentence stopped Nick dead in his tracks. He wasn't sure if he heard her right. Nick thought there was a hint of panic in her voice now as well.

"Jess…I…"

"So yeah, engaged to Sam. Engaged to be...married. Sorry I didn't let you know sooner. It was great to hear from you though and I hope everything is going well. Maybe we can talk some other time as I think I have to go somewhere now." The suspected panic in her voice was now full-blown loss of self-control.

"I just have to let you know, Jess…"

"NOOOOO, no no no you don't Nick! You don't have to let me know anything. We are gooood. Sorry I got to run. Soooo, I will talk to you later. Ta ta for now!"

*click*

Nick dropped the phone to his side, grabbing his face with his hands, an overwhelming mix of sadness and shock spreading through him. The realization was hitting him with full force now. If he ever had a chance, he had missed it. Jess was engaged. That still didn't stop the sentence that was meant for her from rolling off his tongue quietly to his empty apartment.

"I love you, Jess."

**A/N: Thanks for positive feedback. I will do my best to continue with the quick updates, especially since we are getting to some meaty stuff. Luckily I've spent this weekend at the in-laws, so I've had some free time.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Brunch of Shame

Walking into the deli, Jess spotted Cece straight away. It was hard to miss her best friends frantic waving, trying to flag Jess down. As she went over to the table where Cece was already seated, Cece stood up and enveloped Jess in a bear hug. The two excited women drew some looks from the Sunday brunch crowd at the restaurant.

"So, let me see it!" Cece exclaimed.

Jess held out her left hand towards Cece who grabbed it eagerly. Admiring the jewelry on her ring finger, Cece ohhed and ahhhed over the sparkly gemstones. Even though she had already spilled the details to her over the phone, Jess again described the scene from her and Sam's date. The super fancy restaurant, the romantic walk on the beach, and of course the proposal were all recounted. The waiter had come by to take their orders, but gave up shortly getting the feeling this might take a while.

"So where are you at with any of the planning and stuff?" Cece knew from their child hood that this was something they both had dreamed of for some time.

"I guess I would say the very early stages. I mean, I just told my parents, so planning is going to be the next step," Jess replied.

"Speaking of, are your parents excited?"

"Mom is of course, and predictably Dad is less than thrilled that somebody is going to steal his little girl," Jess let out a little laugh at the thought of her dad's reaction.

Cece couldn't help but notice her friend's enthusiasm wasn't quite where she expected to be for this whole life changing event. She decided not to broach the subject just yet. At this point the waiter had returned and the two women placed their orders. Afterwards, the conversation continued about dress options, venues, and the optimum time to have a wedding in Southern California. A bit later, two Mimosas arrived, and Cece felt compelled to give a little toast.

"To one of the best people I've ever met, and to what will undoubtedly be her awesome wedding!"

"Thanks, Cece."

After clinking their glasses and taking a drink, Jess remained uncharacteristically quiet. This seemed as good as any time to get to the bottom of what was bothering Jess. Cece opted for her usual blunt approach.

"Alright, out with it. What is the matter?"

Confusion crossed Jess' face. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

"You just got engaged to a hot doctor and you are sitting here showing less excitement than you would show for spotting an oversized lollipop."

Cece knew Jess too well, and soon a defeated look came across her face. Jess wasn't going to be able to weasel out of this one. "I may have done something to hurt someone recently."

"May have done…something?"

"I would say 96% sure I did something."

Seeing how much this upset Jess, Cece waited for her to continue at her pace. This was Jess after all, whatever was bothering her had no chance of staying bottled up. After another drink from her mimosa, she continued.

"So…I got a call from Nick yesterday."

Cece remained quiet. There was no need to interject when she had a pretty good idea where this was going.

"He kind of just called me right out of the blue and started rambling off these feelings. It was quite unusual, especially for him. Anyway, I got the feeling he was about to reveal something pretty important and big to me."

"So what happened?"

"I cut him off, kept interrupting him so he couldn't finish. Then I made some sorry excuse about having to run and hung up on him. I feel like such a terrible person." Jess' head fell to the table, but quickly she brought it back up. "Oh, and I cut him off by exclaiming that I was now engaged. He really didn't say much after that, not that I can remember anyway."

"So Nick was revealing…feelings?"

"Look Cece, I know you are going to say 'I told you so' or something like that, but I just feel so awful. I was relentless about him bottling up his feelings when he was around, and now when he was going actually heeding my advice, I shut him down."

Cece softened her tone, trying to calm her upset friend. "I am not going to say 'I told you so' in this instance, okay? Clearly you are upset by this, so I'm doing what I always do, and that's being there for my friend." Jess' face relaxed a little as Cece held her hand while figuring out how to navigate her next inquiry.

"Is it possible that there was part of you that…wanted to hear what he had to say? As in, you were hoping it was something big and important?"

Confusion returned to Jess' face. Cece decided it was best to go back to her strength of being blunt and honest.

"Do you…like…Nick?"

"AHHHHH! BLEEEEH! No, I do not 'like' Nick. I love Sam. I'm going to get married to him. I just hate that I hurt a really good friend."

Cece weighed Jess' reaction, and yet she was not fully convinced she knew this wasn't the time to press further.

"I guess if that were the case then, I would give it some time, and eventually you will have an opportunity to apologize," Cece advised.

As she was consoling her friend, the waiter arrived with their orders. The conversation was a little more light-hearted and subdued through the meal. After paying their checks, they both made their way out of the deli. Jess thanked Cece for always being there to listen to her problems, and apologized for not letting Cece talk much about her own life. Cece tried to bring the conversation back to the sensitive topic from earlier.

"No matter what babe, I just want you to be happy. Okay?"

Jess nodded at Cece. "I know. Thanks again for always being there."

As Jess started walking back to her car Cece called out to her.

"And Jess…"

Jess stopped walking and turned around. She immediately noticed the tell-tale smug look on Cece's face.

"I told you so."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I promised some quick updates...so...yeah. Thanks again for reading.**

Chapter 9: Minefield

"I know…tight, isn't."

At the cue of Tony's punch line, Jamie let out an extended belly laugh. "Man that one never gets old."

Nick kept on unloading bags of barley from the delivery truck, clearly unamused at the jovial mood that Tony and Jamie were in. Grabbing the last of the bags, he threw it into the storage room rather violently, the action catching the attention of the two friends.

"Yo Tiny Penis, we want to malt the barley, not murder it," Jamie teased his brother.

"Murdered Barley? That could be a good name for a new beer," Tony thought aloud.

"We could package it in a matte black can…"

"The tagline would be something like 'this is what happens to barley that crosses Tiny Penis'…"

Nick was still unimpressed with their cleverness. "Well while you guys are busy dreaming up beer names and marketing schemes, I'll get some of the actual work done around here."

Jamie saw an open opportunity to continue teasing his older brother. "What has gotten into you recently, man? What's crawled up your ass? Is Safeway out of your favorite ramen? Is Tiny Penis angry because of a woman?"

"It could also be the lack of woman, that can always make a man cranky," Tony added.

"Shut up you idiots. I'm going to go file receipts…or…something." Nick walked off to his office to try to keep his mind busy. "Just make certain the front of the house is good to go for today."

After cooling down from his physical labor, Nick threw on a thermal and busied himself in his office for about an hour, and then came back to the taproom. Tony and Jamie had a handle on the small workday crowd of customers that was present today. Almost all of them came in bundled up as it was early February, and the biting winter was showing its teeth.

The three men continued working their assigned routines. As he worked, Nick thought to light teasing he had received earlier about his current mood, which could be best described as grumpier than usual. Ever since he had tried to tell Jess how he felt about her, he felt like a cloud of melancholy followed him everywhere he went. So far it hadn't completely affected his work, but that didn't seem to make him feel any better. He hoped the woman who always wanted him to open up and talk about his feelings maybe understood a little more why he always buried them. It somehow ended up being easier that way.

Nick had not spoken to Jess or even texted her since that day. Part of him wished he had never built up the courage to open the floodgates, and then maybe he would still get the occasional conversation with her, maybe enjoy some light banter. Now it seemed that whenever he would talk to her again, it would be a minefield of awkwardness. There seemed to be nowhere around it. The two just couldn't act like nothing had ever happened. Between telling her that he knew what he was missing out on in the loft hallway and the recent almost explosion of feelings, they would probably have to address the situation like adults. Although the more he thought about it, Nick was certain he would do his best to act like nothing had ever happened, like nothing had changed. He knew it wasn't the right thing to do, or even the remotely healthy thing, but he seemed all too sure that he would indeed handle the situation that way. He just didn't know if he could go back to being just a friend to Jess. Even though it seemed too late, for once he finally had some clarity. Oh well, Nick thought, cross that bridge when you get there.

As Nick was lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice a new customer at the main entrance. When he looked up, he stopped breathing. It looked like he was going to have to navigate that minefield sooner than he thought as he was staring at those beautiful blue eyes for the first time since he moved out.

Damn those eyes.

As Nick was reminding himself to breath, Jess made her way over to the stool directly in front of him. Nick noticed straight away the ring on her left hand.

Looks like that Sam thing is still something that is going on, Nick thought to himself, trying not to make a nasty facial expression as he looked.

As Jess sat down, she took off her dark blue trench coat and shot Nick a weak smile, unsure herself of how best to approach the situation. She couldn't always read Nick, but it was fairly clear looking at him now that his defenses were up. The look in his deep brown eyes reminded her almost of how he looked the last time he saw his dad. He claimed he was kind of glad to see him, but she knew how deep his issues with his father went. He was always shielding himself and expecting the worst with Walt, and now he seemed to be giving a similar vibe to her. It pained her to know that her actions had directly caused that look, that hurt. After a few more seconds of awkward silence, she decided to break the ice.

"Hey Nick." It came across much quieter than it necessary.

"Hey Jess. What can I get you to drink?" Yup, going with 'acting like it didn't happen'. You are just her old friend, the bartender. Stick with what you know Miller. It's hard to screw up getting people drunk.

"I guess I'll take four tasters of whatever you recommend. Dealer's choice." Jess seemed a little more at ease with the conversation.

Easy enough, Nick thought. In short order he returned from the taps with four four-ounce glasses of beer, and placed them in front of Jess.

"We got a Dirty Blonde, the Copper Alt, a Smoked Porter, and the Rich Uncle's Dunkel," Nick pointed at the glasses as he named them. Nick held up a finger signaling to Jess he would be back as he went to fill the orders of some waiting patrons. As he walked away Jess went about tasting the varieties of beer. After about five minutes, the brief rush was handled and Nick returned to Jess.

"So, what do you think of them?"

"I liked all them, except the porter. It's just too robust for me I think. I don't know the technical beer jargon. But I definitely like the others."

"Yeah, that porter is certainly the departure from pink wine." A familiar playful tone was clear in Nick's voice. Even with his guard up, he couldn't pass on an opportunity to mock her usual beverage of choice.

Jess felt herself relax a little further, some from the alcohol, but mostly from the mocking tone she was receiving from Nick. For a moment, it indeed felt like old times. Just two good friends unwinding at Clyde's, flipping each other some slack. Maybe she could do this. Maybe she could get him to understand how sorry she felt. Nick's rough and raspy voice drew her back to the moment.

"So ah...what brings you to Chicago?"

"There is this national teacher organization that I belong to, and it's having a conference here. I got into town early yesterday, been at meetings pretty much both days. I figured I had to stop by and see this place."

"Do you want a full-blown pint of one of those, or try something different?"

Jess eyed the bourbon on display on the shelf and got an idea.

"Actually…I was thinking of something a little harder."

Nick raised an eyebrow in curiosity, waiting for her to continue.

"Have you ever been a place called the Bad Apple? I don't know the neighborhood it's in, somewhere up north. Some of us gals went there last night."

Nick shook his head. He didn't have a lot of time to go visit new places around his hometown.

"Well, they have pretty good burgers there, as well as a good beer and cocktail menu. Anyway, I had this drink called a New Fashioned. Then I had another. Don't ask what happened after that. They were tasty"

Nick let out a sniffle thinking of Jessica Day having too much bourbon. "I have never heard of 'em. Do you at least remember what was in them?"

"Well, bourbon for sure. I want to say there was also cinnamon, orange, and a maraschino cherry for garnish. Think you could whip of a New Fashioned for me Miller?"

"We have all of those things. Can't make any promises on its quality, but I'm willing to try."

"Make yourself one as well, my treat."

Nick turned to the back wall to grab a decent whiskey and went to work. He couldn't help thinking this conversation was going better than expected. He had no outburst and was relatively in control of his anger and emotions. It absolutely could be going worse. He was pretty short with her at the beginning, and that sort of reaction would have ignited an argument back in the loft. He supposed that this wasn't the loft, and this wasn't a normal conversation for them. Putting the finishing touches to the two drinks he placed one in front of Jess and took a sip of his. She then mirrored his action. For the first time that night, he smiled. It was a damn tasty drink, one he had never thought to make.

"You are right, Jess. That is damn good. Who knew you would be an expert in bourbon cocktails."

Jess decided to take a direction to something more serious. "Not all of my surprises are bad." She tried to convey a very sincere tone. The meaning behind the simple sentence was not lost on Nick, as his face briefly fell to the floor, returning with a ghost of the smile he previously wore. Jess decided it was time to stop beating around the bush.

"Nick, there is a very real possibility that I did something to hurt you in the past, and I just want to say that I am sorry, and I hope you can forgive me."

The irony of the moment hit Nick in his gut. He immediately thought of the night he tried to future apologize, and how she forgave him without question. He remembered it vividly. It was always her nature, to forgive and forget. She was gorgeous as always that night. He thought about how much she had rubbed off on him, with her positivity. She was spot on, she had hurt him. But she was also in front of him, owning it, trying to make it right. No matter how much she pissed him off over the years, he never could stay mad at her.

"Yeah…um…I…forgive you Jess." He still hated seeing the ring on her finger, but he felt a little weight lifted from his mood. As he looked at her, he could feel the full honesty of her apology. She could always cut to his core, seeing through all of his grumpiness to a guy that had just been broken by people he wrongly trusted.

The last thing Jess would want to do is hurt Nick. That's why she became nervous once again, as she had one last order of business before leaving. Pulling an envelope out of her purse, she pushed it across the bar.

"One more thing before I head out to meet back up with the other teachers."

On the front of the envelope was his name, written in her impeccable penmanship. Opening the letter, he pulled out a card.

_Bob and Joan Day request the honor of your presence…_

Nick blinked a few times.

It was her wedding invitation.

Jess threw her coat back on and left case for her drinks while stuffing a fiver into the tip jar. Arranging herself, she waited for Nick to make eye contact with her. After about twenty seconds he looked up. Taking a deep breath, she wanted him to know that she understood this wasn't an easy situation for him.

"Nick, if you decide not to come," she paused. " I won't hold against you for a second." Nick looked back at the invitation. "Just understand that it would really mean a lot to me if you were there."

Nick just kept staring at the envelope. Jess turned to head towards the door, stopping after a few steps and turning back around.

"It was great seeing you again Nick. This place is really cool. I'm…I'm proud of you."

At the pause in her compliment, Nick looked back at Jess. It was tasking his self-control to remain calm and act like an adult. It had taken so little from her to bring his defenses crumbling down, and he had no idea how to react. After a few seconds Jess turned back towards the exit. She stopped once more at Nick finally breaking his silence.

"Jess?"

"Yes, Nick."

"Are you...happy?"

She gave him a small nod. He tried to read her face for any deeper meaning but found none.

"Ok. Well then…congratulations. It was good seeing you too, Jess." Nick tried not to think if his congratulation was sincere or not.

Jess pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, giving another smile to Nick, and walked out of the taproom. As soon as she was out of sight, Nick deeply exhaled, and continued to stare at the envelope in his hand.

**A/N dos: Bad Apple is a real place in Chicago, and they indeed serve New Fashioneds, and I honestly couldn't remember what was in them other than delicious.**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: A Chance

As Nick walked out of the office towards the brew room, he saw Jamie getting a head start on the next batch of beer. Jamie had a good deal of the sanitizing completed. Nick joined in the preparation by gathering up the needed ingredients for today's brew day. Accumulating them on the workstation, he double-checked Tony's list to make certain everything was in order. As Jamie finished up with all the utensils, he made his way over to where Nick was standing.

"We got everything we need for today?"

"Yeah, I think it is all here," Nick replied matter-of-factly to Jamie's inquiry.

Nick's recent demeanor had not gone unnoticed by Jamie. The entire Miller family would constantly remind him of his lack of book smarts, but he could read his brother better than most. What most people would mistake for typical Nick Miller irritability was evident to Jamie as something rooted deeper. He noticed it shortly after Thanksgiving, but didn't pry back then. He figured back then he could wait for the source to eventually bubble to the surface, but he was tiring of waiting mostly because Nick's attitude was growing thin on Jamie.

"Can I ask you a simple question, Nick?"

"Sure Jamie."

"Are you happy here?"

"Yeah, of course, why do you ask?"

"I don't know, for a while now, it seems you are a million miles away. Like something really important is eating away at you and you are just trying to run from it."

Nick placed his hands at the edge of the workbench. He hadn't spoken to anybody about his encounter with Jess, the interrupted confession, none of it. Instead, every night he would go home and try to suppress all the emotions that would torment him, sometimes with the aid of countless brown bottles. None of it was helping. Hell, maybe talking to his brother couldn't hurt.

"You remember my old roommate Jess?"

"Jess…"

"Dark hair, blue eyes, glasses, short…"

"No, nothing."

"She was Elvis at our Dad's funeral…"

"Oh yeah! Glasses Face! So you were banging her!"

Shaking his head at his brother and immediately regretting his decision to bring anything up, he plodded on.

"No, I wasn't. I mean, yeah I find her attractive. But it was more than that. Anyway, I recently tried to open up to her about how I felt about her. You know, tell her how I 'feel'. Instead, she kind of shut me down."

"So you wanted to bang her but she didn't want to bang you?"

"Jamie, would you just shut up about banging?" Nick tried to steady himself before continuing. "Well, it turns out I was too late, she was already engaged to her handsome doctor boyfriend, who also happens to be amazing in bed."

"How do you know that last part?"

"She told me damn near everything when we lived together, ok!"

Nick's anger was getting the best of him again. He knew Jamie was not the source of his problems, not even remotely. He just had a way of getting under his skin. Taking a few deep breaths, he continued with the story of his plight.

"Jess came by here a few months back. We talked, it was…weird. Not completely awkward but nothing like how we used to talk. Before she left, she hand-delivered my invitation to her wedding."

"Ok. So are you going?"

"No. I sent the RSVP card with 'No' boxed checked and everything."

Jamie took a minute to process what his brother had unloaded on him. It was clear from his body language that this was something that was deeply bothering him. His shoulders were tensed and his fists balled up, all just from talking about it for a few brief moments. Jamie wanted to show Nick how much he understood how tough anything emotional could be for a Miller.

"So you cared for this woman, so much that you had feelings that went deeper than banging, and you aren't going to go to her wedding? Did she ever lead you on or do something to truly hurt you like that bitch Caroline did?"

Nick didn't make eye contact and didn't respond verbally. Jamie took this as his cue to finish his point.

"I mean she lives in LA, you live here. If you just recently told her how you truly feel, she would have been moving on, living her own life. If this woman is as cool as you say she is, and it didn't work out simply because of timing, you can't hold that against her. I know we both got burned multiple times by someone who was supposed to always be there for us. Believe me, I get why you take betrayal so hard and aren't quick to trust people."

At the mention of Walt, Nick looked again at his brother. It always caught Nick off guard when Jamie would talk so frankly about their troubled relationship with their late father.

"I know it's hard for you to forgive people, but not everybody is dad. Some people deserve true forgiveness. You have to believe me Nick. You think it's always easy for me and Deann? There is always work, always give and take. I know it's worth it, because I've always known what I wanted from her. Maybe it just takes you a little longer to sort out what you want."

Nick took Jamie's words in. It never ceased to amaze him. One minute Jamie could be acting like the biggest buffoon. The next he would be doling out sage advice. It only bothered Nick when he couldn't differentiate between the two.

"Besides, if your feelings for her go deep…enough…you won't want to burn that bridge. Who knows, you might even still be standing on that bridge and you don't even know it."

"What are you playing at Jamie? Are you saying I should…"

"Look, I'm not saying you should bust down the doors of the church and yell 'I OBJECT' mid-ceremony, or whatever fancy lawyer-speak you would use. What I am saying is, as long as you both aren't six feet under and pushing up daisies, there is always a chance."

Nick stood dumbfounded by his brother's words. The thought of there always being a chance was something that seemed foreign to Nick. In his current mood, he couldn't afford the thought of holding out hope. He pictured himself sitting at a ceremony, watching Jess walk down an aisle to that overgrown frat-boy, and couldn't think of why he would put himself through it. On the other hand, maybe he could go to LA. Maybe he could go and see all of his old friends and have a good time. Maybe he could avoid a meltdown in a photo booth. Maybe he could do one more favor for her that would, in her words, mean a lot to her. Maybe.

Maybe Jamie wasn't as dumb as Nick thought he was.

There was always a chance.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: The Big Day, Part 1

Nick pulled out his wallet, handing over a few notes to the cabbie and thanking him as he went to the trunk to grab his baggage. Closing the trunk he took a gander at the old familiar neon sign at the familiar street corner. In the early afternoon daylight it looked far more decrepit than he remembered, although it did seem to fit in with the rest of the building. Like most crappy bars, Clyde's looked far better at night and after a few cocktails. Walking through the door, Nick felt great relief from the LA sun. While he agreed with Jamie that the three-piece suit he had picked out was classically fashionable, it didn't fair to well in the SoCal heat.

After his eyes adjusted to the dank, dark barroom lighting, Nick looked anxiously to see a familiar face working. Immense relief overcame him when he saw the easily recognizable figure of Big Bob watching some television. Nick hadn't kept in touch with anyone from Clyde's, but was just happy that Shane wasn't present. As he strolled over to the bar, Bob looked down from the TV and his face broke out in a huge smile.

"Well, would you look at what the cat dragged in? Look at you! I barely recognized you in that suit!" Big Bob reached over the bar embracing Nick in a rough man-hug. Nick reciprocated Bob's smile with one of his own. Big Bob was never a close friend of Nick's, but he always liked working with him. The shifts always seemed to go by a little quicker and smoother. "So why are you all dressed up?"

"I'm in town for a wedding, thought I would hit up the old stomping grounds before checking in at the hotel," Nick explained while grabbing a bar stool.

"That's cool. Who's getting married? Anyone I know?"

"Do you remember my old roommate, Jess?"

It seemed like such a silly question to Bob. Every time his female roommate was at the bar, Nick was always a little more cheerful. The change in his demeanor was always noticeable. Bob never pried into his coworkers lives, but he was certain that there was something there other than two friends hanging out.

"Yeah, I remember her. She was a good gal." Bob tried his best to not overstep Nick's boundaries. The look in his eyes sent a clear message. He was going to her wedding, and burying something with it. "I'd say a drink is in order for an old friend. So which of one of your 'usuals' will you be enjoying today?"

"I guess a Jack and Coke, light on the Coke."

Big Bob made short work of the simple drink order, sliding it to Nick. A man asking for a drink this heavy before a wedding confirmed Bob's suspicions.

"Did you just get into town?"

"I stopped for lunch, but yeah, I arrived earlier today."

"What, you had some time to kill, and you just couldn't get help but come back to this awesome place?" Both of the men let out a small laugh.

"You know me. Ol' Nostalgic Nick Miller."

Big Bob laughed heartily. It surprised him how much he missed shooting the breeze with Nick.

"So when does this wedding start anyway?"

Nick let out an audible sigh. "In about five minutes. I kind of thought it would be best if I just showed up for the reception."

Bob didn't need another confirmation, but that about cinched it. "Well if that's the case, this one is on the house."

Nick raised his glass to Bob. "Thanks man."

Bob left Nick to his thoughts for a few minutes as Nick went to work on his drink. He had seen Nick down before, but this was something different. Making a note to try to change the subject, Bob returned to give Nick a second drink.

"So, rumor has it you work at a brewery now."

"Yeah, me, my brother, and one of his friends. We opened up the place just about ten months ago."

"Opened? Like you own it?" Bob tried to hide some of the surprise in his voice.

"Part-owner. We are still kind of small-time, but the place is on steady financial footing. If you are ever around, I insist that you stop by."

"Unfortunately I don't make it to Chicago often. I will say, if you ever get distribution out the west coast I'll make certain to keep an eye or for it an suggest we keep it in stock."

All Nick could do was shake his head. One little successful venture and everyone was dreaming big for him. "I think we better work on making it out of the Chicagoland area before we worry about either coast."

With both men smiling Nick pulled his phone out and noted the time. It was time to head over to the reception, time to make a grown-up move. Wishing Big Bob good-bye and thanking him for the drinks, he headed out the door.

After checking into the hotel, Nick started on the short walk to the reception hall nearby. When he arrived he noticed the lack of foot traffic nearby to the building, but didn't think much of it until he stepped inside. There were people, but they all seemed to be uniformed, and in clean-up mode. With panic running through his mind that he got the day screwed up, he ripped the invitation out of his pocket, double checking the date with his phone. Breathing out a sigh of relief, he realized the wedding and reception were scheduled for today as he thought. Stepping outside of the building, he verified that he was also at the correct reception hall via the name and address. All of this added to Nick's confusion. Where the hell was everybody?

With his phone still in his hand, he shot off a text to Winston to seek some clarity and answers.

_Yo Winny, how's the wedding?_

_I guess word travels fast huh?_

_I don't follow_

_It didn't happen_

_WHAT?_

_The wedding didn't happen. We were all waiting at the church, someone came out and made an announcement. Thanked us for coming._

_Everything okay? Is Jess okay?_

_We can only assume so. Cece is with her now. The crew and I rolled to a place called Sliders since we were all fancied up. It's a neat place. Schmidt hates it._

With his earlier questions answered, a slew of new ones entered Nick's mind, with most of them revolving around Jess' well-being. What the heck happened? Why had the wedding not happened? Was she really okay? Additional worries entered Nick's head about how he was supposed to handle his current situation. What was the etiquette for contacting the bride of a non-wedding? Would Jess want to hear from him? Nick had yet to tell anyone that he was even coming. He tried to convince himself it was so he could surprise his old friends, but he couldn't kid himself. He wanted an easy way out if he started to feel like a coward. He could hop back on a plane and act like he was never in LA if need be.

It took Nick a few seconds to realize that Jess did not marry Sam today. When he boarded his flight back in Chicago, he didn't truthfully entertain that scenario as a remote possibility, but it in fact had come to pass.

Jess didn't marry Sam.

Nick still had no idea what would be going through Jess' head now, or why the wedding fell through. All he knew was he was selfishly in a far greater mood. Allowing a small smile to form on his lips, he decided he would first go pay a visit to the fellas. With a little clarity, he knew he couldn't come all this way and not at least see his oldest friends. He would have to work out a plan for how to approach Jess later. A few drinks with the guys would be his starting point for tonight.

"Babe, stop apologizing."

"I'm sorry Cece. I just can't help it," said Jess with a forlorn look plastered to her face. "I'm drinking all of your wine, and now I feel like I'm kicking you out of your place."

"I asked what you needed as we were driving away from the church, and you said to get out of your dress, some solitude, some wine, and time alone to get your mind right. I am just continuing my duties as best friend and maid-of-honor in providing those things at my humble abode."

"I could just go somewhere else…"

"Where exactly? Back to your apartment, the one you shared with Sam? Perhaps maybe your old loft would provide peace and quiet? Jess, I love those guys, and I know they would do almost anything for you, but they aren't going to be helpful right now."

Jess agreed completely with Cece, but she still felt bad about the situation. "Seriously though, you can stick around and drink wine with me," said Jess, hoping to ease her guilt.

"Don't worry about me, I will go find our friends, make sure everyone knows you are just fine, hang out for a while, and by the time I get back you will be in the mood for sappy movies and ice cream."

Jess and Cece's conversation was interrupted by Jess' phone ringing for what seemed like the hundredth time that evening. Since they had left the ceremony all sorts of people, from shirt-tail relatives to coworkers, were trying to reach her. She knew they were just concerned for her, but the constant notifications coming from her phone were more than annoying. Jess hit the ignore button, and realized her best friend was right as usual. Jess said it herself, she needed some time alone. Cece would deflect concerns and inquiries from the group of friends that had gathered at a bar near the hotel. Jess had already given her mom and dad the assurance that she was okay, yet Joan specifically insisted on being with her, to which Jess had to decline. She didn't want people sitting around feeling sorry for her, because part of her felt surprisingly good. Maybe that was the wine talking. She was certain that she had more clarity in the moment she decided to end things with Sam than she had in a long time. That could not be blamed on the wine.

Standing up and walking over to Cece, Jess gave her friend a rather un-Jess like hug. "Cece, I'm sorry I made you…go through all of this…wedding stuff."

Cece pulled back from the hug and gave her friend a bemused look. "You owe me no apologies. You really have a short-term memory, don't you? Do you not recall how I went through nearly the exact situation last year?"

Jess let out a somewhat sincere laugh. "We sure know how to pick 'em, don't we?"

Another text notification from Jess' phone drew their attention away from the moment. After a disgruntled sigh, Jess shut her ringer off. Cece grabbed her purse and keys and stepped towards the door. "You know I'm only a text or call away, but otherwise I suspect I will be back in a few hours. Let me know if you need anything babe."

"Thanks again, Cees."

After Cece shut the door, Jess made her way back to the couch and wine bottle. It felt good to just be alone with her thoughts for the first time that day. No phone interruptions, no parents, just peace and quiet. The quiet helped her reinforce the point that she had made the right decision today. She was mad at herself for not being honest enough with herself to figure this all out sooner. She felt terrible for wasting everyone's time, and for leaving Sam the day they were supposed to get married. It obviously surprised him when she told him she wasn't going to marry him, but among all the emotions she felt today, there was an overwhelming sense of relief.

Only two people had asked her if she was happy during the whole wedding planning process, and it was a question that kept bugging her the closer it got to the wedding day. It ate away at her to think that she had actually buried her own feelings and doubts about the engagement and pending nuptials rather than addressing them. She could only blame one scruffy former roommate for rubbing off on her. Stupid Nick Miller. She had also buried the feelings she had when she received his RSVP card that confirmed he wouldn't be coming. She couldn't help but feel disappointed at his response, even though she told him directly that she wouldn't hold it against him. Stupid, stupid Nick Miller.

Thinking about Nick and how stupid he was, Jess walked over the kitchen and uncorked another bottle of wine. Predictably, this was going to be a long night.

**A/N: Thank you as always for the positive support, and patience with this update. I promise the second part of this is not far behind.**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: The Big Day, Part 2

Walking through the front door of Sliders, Nick took a nervous look around to see if he could spot his friends. He recognized some people as acquaintances of Jess, and shortly saw the familiar faces of Coach, Schmidt, and Winston, all still dressed to the nines. The sight of his old crew immediately relaxed him, and he made his way over to where they were standing. Getting closer to the group, he could hear Schmidt rattling on about some recent injustice against high fashion. None of the men had noticed him yet, so Nick decided it was finally time to announce his presence.

"Let me guess Schmidt, somebody was wearing cheap knock-off blah blah blah," Nick mocked Schmidt gesturing with his hands, "something something it's a travesty."

"HEEEEYYYY!" all three men yelled out at the sight of Nick.

Immediately, Winston went in for a man hug, followed by Coach. Schmidt held back until the others had backed away, then wrapped Nick in a bear hug, finishing it off with a fredo kiss. Nick reacted in his usual, petrified way. Eventually, he successfully shoved Schmidt off.

"I have honestly wondered if it would be less painful to just ride one of those out."

"Maybe if you would have come and visit, I wouldn't feel the need to express my love physically."

Scrunching has face up, Coach interrupted, "Do we need to leave you two lovebirds alone?"

"I thought you weren't coming man?" Winston chimed in.

"Change of plans," Nick replied nonchalantly. He was hoping that would be the end of the conversation in this instance. Thankfully, nobody pressed any further. He didn't feel like explaining why he had been catching up with Big Bob and not waiting with them in the church. He also didn't feel like hiding his selfish excitement that the ceremony hadn't gone off today. The conversation was steered to catching up with Nick and how his brewery was doing. Seeing Nick put Schmidt in an excellent mood and he had insisted on buying the next few rounds, so the drinks were flowing. Even with the events of the day, everyone was in a celebratory good mood.

A few more rounds into the night and Nick was feeling more than alright. Not alright enough to go karaoke with Winston as he had insisted, but definitely far better than he ever thought he would when he woke up that day. Internally though, he was struggling with the nagging question of how to approach Jess. He was undoubtedly enjoying the company of old friends, but was no closer to any idea of why Jess didn't get married. With everyone downing their bowls of loudmouth soup, now seemed as good a time as any to bring the conversation back to her.

"So I can't help but ask guys, you have no idea what happened with Jess today?"

All three men just shook their heads. Well, that's a load of help, Nick thought.

"To be fair, we didn't see her a lot after she moved in with Sam, but she never gave us any indication of anything going on behind the scenes," Winston claimed.

"I hear ya, I'm just…I'm worried about her. I didn't hear from her a lot either," Nick half-lied.

"Well, Cece texted me and said she was on her way earlier. I'm sure if anyone has the scoop, it will be her," said Schmidt.

Nick shook his and pulled a slightly inebriated turtle-face. "I guess we wait then. And drink, we should definitely drink. This rounds on me."

"Oh no you don't, I was the one buying the rounds, the Round-Buyer," Schmidt interrupted in disbelief.

"Relax, I'm a moderately successful businessman." Nick fiddled with his collar and jiggled his tie. "We'll call it payment for the free marketing advice."

"The gems I shared with you were hardly only worth one round of drinks Niiiiack!"

Nick ignored Schmidt's protests and walked towards the bar, waiting to get the attention of a staff member. After being ignored a few times, Nick argued with himself about whether he should call or text Jess. He yearned to know what happened, to know what was going through her head, or if she was hurt. Spending the time in his head had made him pay no notice the tall woman who was making strides toward him.

"Nick Millah, Nick Millah!" Cece's tone was less than welcoming. Nick was still clearly daydreaming, and had paid no mind to her calling his name. A sharp shove in his shoulder brought him a bit back to sobriety and fully back to the moment.

"Hey Cece, what's with the violence?"

"You better pray to god that you had nothing to do with this today!"

Finally realizing that he should be frightened of Cece, Nick tried to make sense of her question.

"Had anything to do with what? I don't know what you are talking about. I don't know anything about anything. Is Jess okay?"

"Don't worry about her, worry about yourself. What did you do?" Her question was reinforced by finger pokes to Nick's chest.

"I don't know what you are talking about. I came here, well, to the reception place and nobody was there. The guys said they didn't know what was going on after the cancelled ceremony. I didn't even tell anybody that I was coming, for crying out loud!"

Taking Nick's confession in, Cece's demeanor instantly became less threatening. After a few seconds, she tried to ease the tension and confusion in Nick. Cece was very glad to realize that Nick had come to support her best friend, most likely any way.

"Well it's a damn good thing you could never lie, Miller." Cece finished her sentence with a half-smile. "Sorry I scared you there for a bit. I just assumed you were…never mind."

"Why would you assume-"

"Not your concern." Cece snapped back into her matter-of-fact self. "Jess is okay, she has just requested some alone time. Did any of you fools try to bother her, disobeying my request?"

Nick shook his head. It seems holding off on contacting Jess had been a good idea. Thank you, alcohol with friends.

"Good. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. She shut her ringer off before I left."

The unknowing feeling in his stomach was finally eroding the last of his patience. "Cece…what is going on?"

Looking at Nick, Cece saw a concerned look that she rarely saw in Jess' other guy friends. The slump in his shoulders confirmed his concern. "Nick, she just didn't want to marry Sam. If you need further clarification than that, it will come in due time." The full realization that Nick had come to support her friend, in spite of the tough situation it would have put him in made Cece appreciate Nick in a way that she never did before.

"Look Cece, I…"

"You don't need to explain anything further Nick. She told me…enough." Cece gave a Nick a smile hoping to put finally put him at ease. Seeing him look off at floor, she reached around him for a hug. "I'm very glad you came, Nick."

"Thanks…I guess."

"Nick, look at me." Nick brought his eyes back up to meet Cece's. "Give her the space she needs right now, okay?" Nick nodded slightly. "Now what say we get some drinks from this sorry excuse of a bar, and try to salvage this night with some fun, huh?"

"I feel like I have been trying to do get another round for a few hours now."

"It's because you don't have boobs, move"

In short order, Cece had a tray of drinks in front of her, paid for by Nick, and they made their way back over to the rest of the group. As Nick was carrying the tray, Cece waited behind Nick, pulling out her phone and fired off a text to Jess.

The plan to go out for a few drinks for only a few hours had seriously backfired as closing time came near.

"I'm sorry Schmidt. Facts are facts," said Cece with a cocky grin.

"I know what you are trying to do. You are trying to erode at my confidence and impeccable style. It won't work," Schmidt retorted.

A series of drunken giggles came from the other grown men. They always enjoyed it when Cece would bust Schmidt's chops.

"You can't deny it. When you wear nothing but suits, they lose their wow factor. No matter how expensive, they don't 'pop'. Look at these guys. What would we normally see? With Nick, we would get flannels or thermals paired with cargo pants. In Coach we would see this season's latest athletic wear. And in Winston, we would see a hot t-shirt and jeans combo."

Cece paused and gave the group of men another once over for effect.

"But now, now we have three hotties, dressed to kill I might add. Oh and look, Schmidt is hanging out with them too, and he's looking average!"

"Speak no more of it, vile woman!" With a flourish, Schmidt stumbled off to the bathroom.

Nick, Coach, and Winston were doubling over with laughter, as Cece admired her handiwork as he stormed off. "I can still play him like a fiddle."

"I forgot how much I missed seeing him pissed off," Nick got the sentence out while catching his breath.

"It is quite the sight to behold, I must say. I try not to take it for granted," said Winston. "Thanks for the entertainment Cece."

"I suppose I better go and make certain he doesn't hurt himself in the bathroom. C'mon Coach, you're gonna help."

As Cece drug Coach off to check on Schmidt, Nick looked at his phone sitting next to the countless beer bottles and empty glasses on their table. He had made passing glances at it all night, which had caught Winston's eye throughout the evening.

"Dude, I know what Cece said but if you want to call her, just call her."

"Huh?"

"You've looked at your phone almost as much as us tonight. It's pretty obvious."

With alcohol removing any filter, Nick didn't try to play dumb with his oldest friend. "I don't know, Cece said Jess didn't want to be bothered."

"Jess also didn't think you were coming here tonight. Maybe that would change her opinion on her no-contact policy, but what do I know?"

"What do you know?"

"Exactly."

"That's not helping!"

Both men looked at each other thoroughly confused. Winston broke the drunk stand-off with an exasperated sigh, raising his hands in the air.

"You know what I know Nick?" Winston took another drink of his beer then continued. "I know you two were very close. I know you mean a lot to each other. I know I saw some looks that lasted longer than you ever looked at me or my alter egos. But other than that, you know way more than I do, or ever will."

"Fine, I won't call her though. I will text her. Any conversation I would have now would come out as verbal diarrhea anyway." Nick stopped to type out a message and then passed his phone to Winston. "Here, how's this?"

_Story i didn't get to see you. Im her if you breed me._

"Whatever you are trying to say, I bet it is wrong."

"Give me it!"

After meticulously proofreading the message, Nick handed Winston the phone again.

_Sorry I didn't get to see you. I'm always here if you need me. Hope you are ok._

Winston eyed the message carefully. "I think that is better, but my vision ain't the best right now."

"Thanks Winnie, you are a life saver. Our secret, right? I want the wrath of Cece to stay directly focused on Tight Pants." Winston nodded indicating his agreement, and Nick sent the message. Shortly afterwards, Cece, Coach and Schmidt returned.

"I have decided that we are getting one more shot before Last Call!"

"Like hell you are Schmidt! Your last three just found their way into a urinal," Coach said with a disgusted face.

With some coaxing, they all convinced Schmidt that now was a good time to call it quits. Cece needed to get back to her apartment, and Nick had a flight to catch the next morning. The guys waited with Cece until she got a cab, and saw her off. As the men walked back to their hotel, Nick again fought his own internal battle. Remembering Cece's advice, he thought that maybe he had walked a fine line. He wasn't harassing her, but he had let her know that he was still there for her.

Hell, he would always be there for her.

Ow.

That was the only thought Jess was capable.

Ow.

Eventually she was capable of another thought.

Why didn't I stop after the first bottle of wine? Also, Ow.

Blinking her eyes, she eventually sat up on Cece's couch and ran a hand through her hair. Her head was pounding something fierce, but at least she didn't feel nauseous. Grabbing her phone, she noted the time, 9:56am. Opting not to do the math, she just admitted to herself that she had enough to drink last night to deserve a long snooze. Going back to her phone, she realized she had many missed texts and calls after turning her ringer off. After a deep sigh and realizing she had no immediate need to throw up, she started going through the messages.

Co-worker, co-worker, well-wisher. One from Sam's best man, asking about arrangements for her stuff. Ugh, not a good wake up call. Mom wanting to get brunch before she left for Oregon. Hmm, maybe if the gnomes in her head stopped banging pots on the walls of her skull. Sorting through a few more messages, she came across one from a familiar number.

_Sorry I didn't get to see you. I'm always here if you need me. Hope you are ok._

Nick. Wait, didn't get to see me? Going back to the list of messages, she saw one from Cece. Jess didn't remember her coming home, but she also didn't remember planting her head on the couch.

_Just a heads up, all your former roommates are hanging out tonight. All of them. Even the one that doesn't live here. _

The pounding moved from Jess' head to her stomach. Nick had come. He said he wasn't going to come. Why had he come?

Finding a small victory in getting up off the couch, Jess went in search of Cece.

"Cees?"

"mmmmmmm"

"Cece?"

"Bathroom."

Walking into the bathroom, Jess found Cece laying in the bathtub, still in her clothes and shoes from the night before. Jess couldn't help but let out a little laugh.

"What the heck happened to you?"

"My best friend didn't get married, so for some reason I went out drinking with her loftmates. Sleeping in the tub made sense last night when I wanted to be clean before going to bed. Since your wedding day has officially come and gone, I can fully blame this on you now."

Jess let out another laugh, until her head started ringing again.

"I feel terrible," Cece said sheepishly.

"Well honey, you look exquisite."

"Shut up and help me up."

Jess helped Cece out of the bathroom and back to the couch, where both women plopped down on it unceremoniously. Jess needed to resume the conversation.

"Soooooo, how was everyone."

"I don't want to waste any words this morning. Words take effort." Cece turned to look at Jess who was feigning indifference, and doing so rather poorly. "Nick is good. He is doing very well. He was genuinely concerned about you." Cece paused taking a deep breath. "That is as deep as I dove into it. I'm sure if there was something more you needed to know, you could find out from him."

Jess felt a mix of emotions fill her cloudy head. Even so, there was one that kept budging its way to the front, and Jess started seeing the bottom line. She had told Nick it would mean a lot to her if he showed up, and he had showed up. Even partially knowing what he had almost spilled to her over the phone. Even after the look on his face when he opened the wedding invitation.

He had come to be there for her.

For a brief moment Jess was sad that she hadn't seen him last night. She couldn't blame Cece for this one. There was no reason for her to believe she wanted to see Nick under the circumstances. She opened the messages on her phone again, and reread Nick's message before sending her reply.

_I am ok Nick. Thank you for always being there._


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Moving out, moving on

Nobody likes moving.

Ever.

Nobody likes moving, especially in the summer. The idea of a fresh start is always promising, but it's too bad moving is a part of it. Unfortunately for Jess, there was no other option, and she definitely needed a fresh start. It could honestly be worse. It could be raining, although the thought of a cool mist to quell the heat was very enticing.

"I think this is the last of it guys," Jess tried being as cheerful as she could. It was a trying task under the circumstances. Cece and the guys were helping her move for the second time in a month. Knowing the reason behind the second move, they only reminded her of that fact once this trip. Meeting Sam at his place was about as awkward as everyone expected. Jess was beyond thankful that he had made no romantic gestures. He was resigned to the fact that she didn't truly love him. It didn't make it hurt less, but he appeared to be accepting the situation.

Carefully stacking the last of the boxes, Jess fell into her bed, waiting for the guys to finish arguing over which local pizza place would be delivering dinner. After relaxing for a bit, Jess went back down to her old Volvo to grab the two cases of beer she had picked up on the final trip back. She felt a little guilt for her form of payment to her roommates. It seemed so simple, so trivial. There was no way it could convey how much the guys meant to her. After her non-wedding, they wasted no time in letting her know they hadn't rented out her old room, and that she was always welcome. After leaving Sam, she almost felt like she didn't deserve such good treatment. Jess shook her head as she got off the elevator with the beer. Quit over thinking it, Day. It's just like Nick always said. The payment is simple, because men are simple. Pizza and Beer. She could almost hear him now.

"You are a woman. You can get any decent guy to do almost anything involving lifting heavy things just by smiling and saying 'please'. If 'please' doesn't work, your trump card is always pizza and beer. Men love eating and quenching their thirst after lifting heavy things."

Jess stopped at the loft door, taking a moment at the thought of Nick. Things with Nick weren't always simple, but her feelings were now.

She missed him, more than ever.

The days following her non-wedding involved her staying up late thinking about the very simple, very clear message he had sent. Thinking about the message, and thinking about the man who sent it, she vowed to never shut her ringer off again. To be fair, that probably wouldn't be an issue if she just wouldn't leave a man at the altar again.

Nick had come to LA, probably only because she had implored him to, and she didn't even get to see him before he went back to Chicago. She missed him, more than she thought she could miss somebody. She didn't want to have awkward conversations about weddings, hurt feelings, or leaving town. She wanted to sit on the loft couch and spend an evening with him watching crappy television or get some drinks at the bar. She just wanted to be in his presence, and to be around the man who had her figured out from the early stages of their friendship. She wanted to smell that distinctive Nick smell, to feel his surprisingly muscular arms, to be the source of the female noises she used to hear from across the hall-

Woah. Where the hell did that come from?

Shaking her head a second time, she entered the loft with the beer, much to the approval of the gang. Cece had placed the order for dinner, and after half-an-hour, the delivery man arrived. The four roommates and Cece ate at the dining room table in good spirits. The guys were happy to have Jess in the loft again.

After grubbing on a few slices of pizza, Jess returned to her room to begin the arduous process of unpacking. Making it through the first box, she wanted to quit as she was hearing the sounds of a post-dinner game of Feely-cup being played. Jess couldn't help but laugh. Being back in the loft was not what she had planned, but sometimes life takes you in funny directions. A slight knock from her open door drew her attention to Cece standing in her doorway.

"I was wondering if you came in here to unpack or pass out. Today was a long day." Cece walked over to Jess' bed and sat. Jess joined her as they leaned against the headboard. "How are you holding up? I imagine it wasn't easy seeing your ex-fiancé and moving in the same day."

It was an obvious question, one that didn't have an obvious answer. The more Jess thought about it, she didn't think about Sam much today other than we she was speaking to him. The man who kept dominating her thoughts was halfway across the country.

"Under the circumstances, I'd say I'm okay." Jess didn't try to convey any false optimism this time. "I really miss him Cece."

"I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say you aren't referring to Sam."

Jess shook her head. "No, I'm not. He was always such a good friend, why is everything so complicated?"

Cece wrapped her arm around Jess' shoulder and looked directly at her. "It's hardly complicated at all." Jess finally turned to face Cece, ready to take in another pearl of wisdom from her. "You miss him because you like him, you want him."

"Shut up Cece."

"Fine. Tell me I'm wrong."

Jess responded to Cece's request with a deafening silence. Cece continued to make her point.

"Back when you were roommates you had the fear that things could get messy, so you buried any feelings about Nick. After he moved away, you still buried those feeling because you had Sam. So here we are, no roommate issue, no boyfriend issue. You are left with nothing, but how you feel about him. It couldn't be simpler."

"But he lives in Chicago now…"

"Doesn't matter Jess. It's simple, it boils down to how you feel about Nick. How do you feel about him?"

Jess closed her eyes, silently cursing her best friend.

"I want him Cece. I want him…bad."

"See…simple." After giving Jess a kiss on the side of her head, Cece lifted herself off of the bed and made her way to the door. "I have to get ready for work. I think you got this from here, right?

Inhaling a deep breath and trying to regain control of her emotions, Jess replied flatly. "Yeah, I just need to get a few more boxes put away…"

"Not what I was talking about babe."

"Yeah. Yeah I got this partner," replied Jess with a small smile.

With that Cece left to get ready for work and Jess was back to being alone with her thoughts. Damn her for always being right. The situation as it stood was simple. It had the potential to get really complex, but for now, it was simple.

Jess stood up and grabbed the box that she knew contained her laptop, while also grabbing her purse from her desk and sat back down on her bed. Opening her laptop, she went to a travel site and entered her info.

Departing Airport: LAX

Arriving Arport: ORD


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: One Year in Business

Unpacking her suitcase in the hotel room, Jess was trying her best to calm her nerves. Even thought it was just a month ago, it seemed like a lifetime since she booked her plane tickets for this event, and it was finally here. She probably could have picked an earlier weekend to come visit, but she felt like this Saturday was more appropriate. Today was the first anniversary of Perus Brewing being open for business. She knew it would be a special day for Nick, so she made certain she would be there to suprise him.

With school just starting, there was no way she could ask for any time off, so she had to fly out Saturday morning, and booked her return flight Sunday. She had also lied to everyone back in LA about the reason for her visit. She claimed she was going to another conference for teachers. Jess didn't want any external pressures today. She just wanted to see her friend Nick, and see what would happen.

Coming to the bottom of her suitcase, it appeared as if someone had read her mind as she pulled out a skimpy black number that resembled lingerie more so than a dress in Jess' mind. Attached to the dress was a note with what was unmistakably Cece's writing. The intentions of the note were very clear.

_C'mon!_

"Nice try sister," Jess said aloud to herself. "We are going with a respectful look for today."

After smoothing out the far more tasteful dress that she had packed, Jess slipped it on and gave herself a once over. The deep red of the dress was offset by the black band at her waist, accentuating the curves of her body while leaving plenty to the imagination. She didn't know if this one of Nick's favorites, but she felt comfortable in it. That was exactly what she wanted today to be about, two friends who were comfortable around each other.

Looking at her make-up bag, she thought to how more than once he had subtly told her that she didn't need much, so she put it off to the side and focused her attention to her hair. After some finishing touches, she started running through the possible outcomes of today. There was a possibility that all the potential feelings Nick had expressed over the last year had either gone away or been quelled, or that Nick had moved on. Jess decided none of that mattered. If he had moved on, she couldn't blame him, and she would enjoy a day in his company. Yes, she would enjoy her time with Nick, no matter how it they spent it. Taking in a deep breath, Jess grabbed her purse and headed for the hotel lobby.

Bonnie cleaned the last of the pint glasses that were in front of her and dried off her hands. Over the summer she decided she needed to get out of the house more often. So, once a week she would join her sons at the brewery, doing some small jobs that didn't task her body too much. Today that meant cleaning glasses for the anniversary party.

Deciding she was on her feet for long enough that day, Bonnie went back to the office where she knew Nick was working. Cracking the door open, her voice drew him out of the papers he was poring over.

"Nicky, did you want those spent grains-"

"For the tenth time Ma, they are in food-grade buckets. They will be fine in the back for one more day. You have done enough today, but I'm cutting you off of working. If you want to hang out more with Jamie, that's fine."

"Okay sweetie. Just make sure you don't miss the entire celebration being back here. I think I will just head home. I think this party is going to get a little too sloppy for my taste."

"Thanks again for helping Ma."

As Bonnie went out to the taproom, she waved goodbye to Jamie, who was sitting at a table with Tony, enjoying one of his stories. Stepping outside she turned around and took another look at the sign above the door. It still filled her with overwhelming pride every time she saw her maiden name on the side of the building. She wished Walt could have seen what their two boys could accomplish. Just as she was about to turn towards home, Bonnie saw a red-clad woman walking towards her that caught her eye. She almost immediately recognized her as Nick's old roommate.

"Jessie, is that you?"

"Ms. Miller?"

"Please, with the formalities, it's Bonnie." Bonnie enveloped Jess in a tight hug.

"Well it's good to see you Bonnie." Jess reciprocated Bonnie's hug, though not as enthusiastically. She also thanked the stars for not going with Cece's suggestion in clothing.

"What brings you here, deary?"

"Oh, I had this work thing earlier, thought I would come by and see Nick afterwards."

"Well, I was just on my way home. Nick is in the office, its back and to the left, just walk in like you own the place. You'll see him," Bonnie instructed Jess as she started walking away.

Jess looked up at the sign over the door, gave herself a mental pep-talk, then opened the door.

Nick sighed and rubbed his eyes, filtering through a stack of paperwork that seemed like it would never end. He knew he should go out and enjoy the party, but he was never one to leave a job undone. Just as he was about to return his attention to pile of papers, he heard another knock on his office door. He started his objection without looking up.

"Ma, for the last time would you please-"

"Hey there stranger."

Nick looked up so quick he thought he was going to spring his neck. He knew that voice straight away. Standing in his doorway was not his mom, but the woman who had been stuck in his mind for so damn long.

"Jess…what are you doing here?

"Had a another work thing in town, figured I better stop by and check out your little shindig you got going on tonight."

Looking at her now, there was a sparkle in her eye that was long gone the last time he saw her here. She reminded him more of the woman he used to live with, the one he felt such a deep connection with. Nick surprised himself when he got up and gave her a hug, which she warmly returned. He wanted nothing more than just to touch her, to feel her in his arms. Hugging was not something they did much as roommates, but it just felt so right. Convincing himself that he had held her for longer than needed, he broke away from her.

"Well…I'm really glad you came."

Jess steadied herself after being in Nick's arms. She realized she hadn't physically touched him since he moved out, and the simple act of a hug had her mind racing. Everything felt so warm. Trying to regain some control Jess pointed out the obvious.

"So this is your office?"

"Yeah, this is where I get holed up when I'm trying to dot our I's and cross our T's, so to speak."

"I didn't really get to see a lot of this place last time. Do you think you could give me a tour?"

"Yeah, right this way."

Nick took Jess out of his office back into the brewery part of the building. Nick excitedly talked about all the ins and outs of the brewing process that he had learned from Tony. This side of Nick was almost foreign to her, yet she always knew it was in him. He had finally applied himself to something, and it was a rousing success. Coming back to the taproom, Nick directed Jess to an empty table near the front windows, and went to the bar to grab two pints. Once back, he sat with Jess putting one of the pints in front of her.

Nick continued to talk about the issues of running a business. He talked about how they had recently started to hire Tony and Jamie's other friends for weekend help, giving the three men much-needed time off. Jess allowed herself to get lost in Nick's raspy, husky voice. This is what she had missed the most, just being with him. After a few more rounds of conversation and beer, Jess wanted to see if Nick would open up a bit further.

"I ran into your mom on the way in here. She seemed really happy."

Nick paused for a moment. He recalled the conversation with Jess before he moved, how he told her he was doing it for his family.

"I think she is really happy," Nick replied. "I know she still misses my dad, but I think she is really proud to see her sons do something that the IRS will never be deeply investigating." Nick couldn't help but shake his head at the thought of how Walt would have somehow screwed Perus Brewing up by now if he were still alive.

"Well she should be, you guys are doing amazing here!" Jess didn't try to contain her excitement this time. "You are doing amazing, Nick. Nick Miller: Brewery owner!"

"Only part-owner. We still have Jamie and Deann to pay off. It wouldn't have happened without their inheritance..." Nick trailed off, looking down and to the side. Jess had seen this look too many times before, but it didn't make it any easier for her to see it. He always doubted himself, beat himself up. It bothered her that he never thought he was good enough to deserve happiness. Here Nick was, finally doing something with his life, and he still had those same doubts. Combined with the alcohol coursing through her veins, it was more than enough to piss her off.

"For FUCKS SAKE Miller!"

Nick immediately snapped back to Jess with a mix of panic and shock. He had never heard her swear like that before. Her eyes showed a look of anger combined with a slight hint of disappointment.

"For once in your life, just take a damn compliment, Miller. You came back home to take care of your family after your dad died. You were a good brother and son. Then you built something here. " Jess motioned to the taproom. She then reached across the table grabbing one of Nick's hands, willing him to look her in the eyes. She had to drive this point home. "I always knew you were a great guy. Now you are proving it to the world. I'm…so proud of you."

The look in Jess' eyes had softened significantly, displaying the admiration she had for the man in front of her.

"I guess...it is a pretty kick ass place we've got here."

Jess let an exasperated sigh. "See…that wasn't so hard now, was it?"

Nick laughed at himself and smiled, nodding in agreement with Jess. Their conversation was interrupted by Jamie loudly climbing on top of the bar, clamoring for the attention of the taproom.

"HEY! HEY! Hey everybody. I have to say something." Jamie was clearly a few rounds ahead of everybody else in celebrating the evening. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate Perus Brewing being open for one year." Jamie's speech was interrupted by a loud cheer throughout the room. "To my boy Tony…nice beer recipes and I like your beard." Jamie's speech was interrupted again, this time by light chuckles. "To my brother Nick…thanks. For everything."

Nick raised his glass to his brother, who returned the gesture and finished his impromptu speech.

"Cheers!"

The room responded in kind to Jamie's toast, clinking glasses with their neighbors.

Nick and Jess continued their conversation for several hours, interrupted only by a few well-wishers for Nick, or when he needed to get refills for him and Jess. Eventually, it was getting towards the end of the night, and the some of the patrons had started to clear out.

"Absolutely not Jess. I will not let you ride CTA this time of night."

"I'm not some helpless person Nick. I can handle a little public transport. How do you think I got here anyway?"

"And that was in broad daylight. I will not let you wait for a train by yourself at this hour. You're a guest in my town. I'm paying for a cab, and that is the end of it."

With a huff Jess surrendered to Nick, allowing him to call for a cab. Nick was happy to know that Jess would be safe, but he hated how he had just put a countdown clock on this thrilling night. He knew he was going to enjoy the anniversary party, but seeing Jess had sent him over the edge with happiness. The entire evening just felt…right. They might as well have been on the loft roof, or at Clyde's. It was easily the happiest he had been since he moved to Chicago, and with one phone call for a cab he had put a cap on his time with her. Nick mentally decided it was time to make the most of it.

"Jess, there is something that is…well, I just have to ask. If you don't feel comfortable talking about it, I understand." Jess waited expectantly, sensing a change in tone in Nick. "Why didn't you marry Sam?"

Jess took a second to herself before answering, reminding herself that she came here with a very specific purpose. She needed to be honest with Nick. This was an excellent starting point.

"I could go on quite a long list of reasons why I didn't, but the short answer is I didn't love him. I hate that I couldn't see that for myself so much sooner than I did, but I am glad that I was at least eventually honest with myself. I guess part of me had waited so long for Spencer to move forward that when the next guy made that kind of move, I was just too excited. I mean, the relationship started with him thinking I was Katie for crying out loud."

"I know Jess, I was there."

The two friends enjoyed a laugh at Jess' expense. Jess was so happy to talk freely about her life with Nick again. The brave part of her brain kept thinking about a life _with_ Nick. It was her time to see if Nick would open up.

"Turn about is fair play Miller, I have a question for you. The guys said you weren't at the ceremony. What made you change your mind to come at all and why skip the ceremony?"

Alright Miller, here is your opportunity, your chance to make a grown up move.

"Well I decided I wanted to be there to support you, but flight schedules…I just...could only make the reception."

Miller, you god damn chicken shit. You couldn't say I still love you and didn't want to watch you marry somebody else. Nick couldn't mentally kick himself enough. He saw the tinge of disappointment in those gorgeous blues eyes. Damn those eyes.

Jess steeled herself, willing herself to ask one more question. It was a question that was eating away for some time.

"Nick, when I told you I was engaged…what were you going to tell me before I interrupted you?"

Nick stared at Jess, trying to muster up the courage to finish the sentence that she didn't hear, but the courage never came. All he could feel was panic, panic from the pain that conversation had caused him. He wanted to tell her, but the ever-present fear of the unknown finally was getting the best of him. So he stayed silent. Jess' fear that Nick's feeling had changed started getting the best of her, so she stayed silent.

During the uncomfortable silence, a cab pulled up to the front. Jess decided it was time to leave the situation.

"I guess that's my cab…I…better go." Her voice trailed off as she grabbed her belongings, trying to hold back the slowly forming tears. She told herself she wouldn't hold it against him if he moved on, but it didn't stop her from feeling pain and disappointment.

As she headed towards the door, Nick brought his hands to his face and wanted a do-over. She had just sat there, asking him to tell her how he felt, and he chickened out like he always did. A wet bar rag hitting him in the face brought him quickly back to reality.

"GAAAHHH!" Nick pulled the towel of his head. Looking around the room he saw Jamie with a very serious look on his face. Nick assumed that Jamie had thrown the towel. "WHAT THE HELL IDIOT?!"

Jamie stood unmoved by Nick's outburst. "Don't you 'What the hell idiot' me. I see you two clowns smiling and yucking it up all evening long. I see you smiling and laughing more than I have ever seen since you moved back. Then she leaves here with _that_ look on her face. I don't need to know the details, I just know you did something stupid. Don't over think it. Stop being stupid."

The man had a point. He had bottled up his feelings for Jess since the day he met her, and he just passed up a golden opportunity. Clumsily getting up from the table he ran for the door. Jamie watched, shaking his head.

"Idiot."

Jess had successfully willed the tears back as she was opening up the cab door. Everything about today was perfect up until that moment. She was almost sure their connection was still there, but maybe she had misread his actions. As she was about to step into the cab, her name being called out drew her attention.

"Jess! Jess! Wait!"

Nick ran up to the cab holding the door as he tried to catch his breath. He felt this was his last chance to tell her what she needed to hear from him. The fear of losing Jess for good was now clearly overriding the fear of the unknown, and he opened the floodgates. The problem was, his mouth couldn't keep up with his brain.

"Jess, since the day I met you…challenged me to be a better man…wanted you way back…I never thought…deserved happiness…you, I…be better for myself, but…to deserve someone like you, not like you. You…never deserved you…everything has been about you," Nick shut his eyes and shook his head. All he could think was that this was just a disaster. "All of it, it's always been for and about you."

Nick was afraid he had just blown it again. Without looking at Jess, he turned around and walked away, afraid to see the look of what he assumed was shock on her face. As he walked, he heard the sound of the cab door shutting and the revving of the engine as it drove off. Once again, Nick was too busy in his own head, too busy doubting himself and fighting intense sadness that he didn't hear tiny footsteps coming up behind him. The feel of a small hand pulling him at his arm pulled him back to reality.

"Jess, your cab is driving off."

"Shut up Nick."

Incredibly surprised, he saw the watery blue eyes of Jess. It was another look from her that he would never forget.

"What the hell Miller?! You don't just say things like that to a woman, and then just…WALK AWAY!"

"Jess, I-"

"SHUT. UP. NICK!"

Jess breathing was labored after her loud demand. Nick could see her shoulders rising up and down. He decided now was a good time to heed Jamie's advice and not over think it. He stared at the beautiful woman before him. Shutting her eyes, Jess broke the silence.

"Fine, I will do it then!"

With that last sentence, she grabbed the back of his head and her lips meet his. After the initial shock, Nick aggressively kissed her back, as the kiss deepened for both of them. Nick's mind was overrun with emotion. He couldn't figure out why the hell he ever would have run away from this, from her. All of his senses were in overdrive, running his hands through her hair. He started to wander further down her body, finally getting to feel some of the curves he had fantasized about for so long. Finally a prevailing thought popped into his head. He had no idea what he was missing out on this whole time. He thought he did, but kissing her was far better than he ever hoped. If he only would have known, he would have made a move much sooner.

Eventually the two broke apart, coming up for much-needed air. Jess would have to thank Nick later for his poorly phrased outburst, as it confirmed all of her suspicions. With her mind buzzing, she let a smile form on her lips before Nick went in for seconds, this time far less hurried, but just as passionate. Her expectations about kissing Nick were blown out of the water. He wasn't just attractive, he was attractive and knew how to make woman feel incredible, and all only from a few kisses. She couldn't help but wonder what other talents he had that could make a woman feel incredible. Pulling apart from the tender second kiss, he gave her a very light third one. She pulled apart from him and they both took a few deep breaths before opening their eyes and taking in the sight of one another.

Oh yeah, he had been missing out. Damn, he had been missing out.

Jess let out a small giggle, while letting a few tears of joy fall. All Nick could do was smile at those stunning eyes. It was a smile that made Jessica Day a goner. She wanted him, in every way possible, as soon as possible.

"Jess…"

"Nick, your place…is it…far from here?"

Shaking his head, he grabbed her hand and started jogging towards his apartment. Nick smiled from ear to ear as he heard more giggles from the woman in tow behind him.


	15. Chapter 15

**M-RATED CHAPTER WARNING. I will summarize the plot for those who wish to skip in the next installment.**

**Shout out to ImJudyGarland for the beta..SHOUT OUT!**

Chapter 15: Second Chances

It had started fantastically. It was amazing, better than he had anticipated. This alone was surprising because he had done a lot of anticipating. It was just over so fast.

Way too damn fast.

Getting himself up, Nick removed the condom and discarded it. Sitting on the edge of his bed, Jess could sense the tension building inside him, so she reached back to his shoulder trying to relax him. All Nick could do was shut his eyes and try not to scream in anger. He was angry at himself for almost assuredly disappointing her. All he could think about was the morning after the first night she spent with Sam, how she said it was the best sex of her life.

"Nick…Nick," Jess tried to softly bring him back to the moment by gently nudging him.

"Jess, I'm sorry."

"For what exactly, Nick?" Jess tried to contain her own tinge of anger. She knew Nick was teetering on some sort of edge. "I thoroughly enjoyed myself." It was an honest statement. She had enjoyed herself.

"I'm sorry…because it was…quick."

"Well you should be, because that's the first time it has happened to me."

Nick finally looked at Jess, grasping the full sarcastic tone of her statement after seeing a smug look on her face. She was sitting up and had pulled the sheet up for modesty. Her dark hair was falling over her bare shoulders. Seeing her now, he just wanted a do-over.

"Nick, it's okay-"

"No it's not okay! Jess, you have no idea how badly and how long I have wanted this."

Jess reached for one of Nick's hands, lacing her fingers in his, and couldn't help but smile while letting out a small laugh.

"I'd like to think I'm pretty smart Nick. I earned a Master's degree and all. I think I have some idea anyway. I know how to connect a few dots together."

"I can't help but think about what you said about Sam-"

"Why would you be thinking about him right now?!" Jess couldn't believe what she was hearing. "I can assure that I am not."

Nick looked down at his bed. "I just wanted to be really good…for you. I know…I can do better."

"Well it is too bad I don't believe in second chances Nick." When Nick finally looked back at Jess, she gave him an especially goofy grin. "Second…chances…Nick. You get it?"

Finally feeling some tension release from his body, Nick snorted a small laugh. "Yeah, I get it."

Jess reached for his face, pulling it closer to her own. "I'm not shutting you down this time Nick. I'm right here. I'm not running away." Jess then placed a soft kiss on Nick's lips.

Nick closed his eyes as he thought about how insane all of this was. Jess was in his bed. They had just had sex. Jess was in his bed practically naked. She wanted to be here, she didn't think this was a mistake.

Jess was in his bed. Still. Holy shit was he over-thinking things.

Nick immediately thought back to the advice Jamie gave him when he was running out of the taproom. How his dad had told him that he thought too much. He could almost hear Walt's voice now.

_"I just don't want you to miss the things that are happening when you're not thinking."_

Nick's resolve was steadily building. Thinking is what always stopped him from making a move with this amazing woman. It stopped him dead in his tracks in the hallway the night of True American. He wasn't going to make that mistake this time. He was going to make this second chance count.

Abruptly throwing Jess down to the mattress, he felt a quick jolt in his stomach as she squealed in delightful shock. Nick kissed her, doing his damnedest to convey the feelings that had boiled inside of him for so long. He began trailing his kisses across her cheek and down her neck, tossing the sheet aside. He paused a moment, taking in the sight of her bare body. Their eyes met briefly before Nick hands began to make their way to her soft breasts. Jess held her breath as he stroked a finger across her nipple, letting it linger as he reached the tip. He smiled as she let out a giggle that rapidly turned into a low moan as he continued to tease her.

Jess threw her arms around his neck and pulled him down against her. Nick pressed himself firmly to her, drinking in all the feelings of her body on his. Coming back up to her mouth, he placed another long, deep passionate kiss on her supple lips. Stopping the kiss, he opened his eyes to see hers staring right back at him. One of his hands was absent-mindedly caressing her thigh. Jess broke the comfortable silence.

"You aren't the only one who has wanted this for a while." She ran a hand through his ruffled hair, losing herself in his deep brown eyes. "I'm not running away Nick. What are you going to do about it?" She ended her question with an eyebrow raise and a cocky smile.

Don't over-think it.

Nick dove into her neck, running more kisses down her collarbone. The hand that was caressing her thigh moved to tenderly massage her mound, eliciting a throaty moan from Jess. Sliding a finger into her opening, he let his thumb go to work on her clit while sucking on her earlobe.

"Oh hell yes…" Jess said with approval.

Nick brought his head back up to admire her body while his hand continued to work its magic. Jess felt to room begin to spin as she helplessly surrendered to the sweet torture of Nick's fingers against her lady parts. She tilted her head back and moaned, squeezing her eyes shut, urging him to continue. He recollected why he had finished so quickly now. The noises this woman made were so arousing. Could you blame him for blowing it early?

Nick instinctively moved his tongue onto one of her nipples, immediately feeling her wetness below increase as he gently sucked it into his mouth. She arched her back in appreciation as he started laying kisses down the underside of her breast. He continued on a path down her belly to her pelvis. He let his hand drop from the intense work it had been doing, and moved his mouth to the softness her inner thighs.

Nick wasn't thinking about anything, not anymore, as his lips gradually moved up her thighs, higher and higher, gliding over the delicate skin as he reached the top, forcing some frustrated moans from Jess. Deciding he had teased her enough, he dove in with his tongue, determined to drive her over the edge.

"Theeeeere it issssss," Jess sang out in a voice that was unmistakably her. This caused to Nick stop and laugh, looking up at her.

"Seriously Jess-"

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STOPPING?!"

The lust-filled look on her face told Nick this was no time for funny business. Nick dove back in with a new-found vigor, refocusing on his one and only goal: driving Jess mad. Nick ran his tongue up and down her, paying close attention to her body language before settling on her clit once more. Feeling her body tense, he could tell she was close.

Jess decided she liked the way Nick's hair felt as she weaved her fingers into it, while at the same time going out of her mind at the sensation of his light stubble scratching against her inner thighs. And of course that tongue, that masterful, masterful tongue. Soon she felt her tension building, yearning for its impending release as her moans became deeper and louder.

"Just keep…doing...exactly…THAT!" She breathily instructed. Her mind went dizzy as Nick followed orders, waves of pleasure rushing through her as her body convulsed. Involuntarily, she let out a throaty scream as Nick finished her off. He slowed down, but kept trailing kisses over her folds as he allowed her to fully ride out her orgasm. Jess brought Nick's head back up to hers, wrapping her arms around him, her body still humming from the intense pleasure he had given her.

"Yeah," Jess let out a long sigh. "That is definitely something I have thought about."

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it." Nick allowed himself a satisfied smile.

As they lay in his bed cuddling, Nick's apprehension was a mere distant memory. Orally pleasing this woman was something that he could definitely get used to.

A few moments later, Jess' head was finally feeling a little clearer. She thanked herself for not booking the early morning flight, as she now had plans that were going to involve forgoing sleep. She would not be getting an early start tomorrow.

As she ran her hands through his curly hair once more, she felt incredibly comfortable in Nick's arms. She knew he had seen her at her worst, and yet he always accepted her. She wanted nothing more than to show her appreciation for her amazing friend Nick.

Her hand that had been running through his hair started to wander south until it found his member, which immediately responded to her touch. Much to Jess delight, Nick's body had amply recovered from earlier. Trailing kisses down his cookie pouch, her lips made their way to his growing erection. Taking him in her mouth, she started expertly working his shaft. As Nick looked down at her, Jess met Nick's glassy eyes and gave him a sly eyebrow raise as she continued to work him over. Nick threw his head back onto the pillow and grunted loudly. She loved this new power she had over him, loved watching him respond to her touch.

"Oh Christ, Jess…" Now it was Nick's turn to inadvertently arouse Jess with his moans.

For the next sixty seconds Nick laid on his bed, his brain in complete and utter shut-down at the pure ecstasy of Jess' soft mouth stroking his cock. Finally he couldn't take it anymore. He stopped her after regaining some semblance of control of his body. With Nick holding her head up, she went to work in him with her hands. "Jess, this is going to be over quicker than the first time if you don't stop." He locked eyes with her. And in that moment, he wanted nothing more than to be whatever she wanted him to be.

Jess smiled wickedly, "Good."

Jess brought herself on top of Nick, straddling his thighs. He looked up at her in surprise, his eyes roaming up and down her naked body currently on display in front of him. "So, it seems you are ready for round two."

She yanked her wrists out of his grasp and quickly lowered herself onto him, letting out a long, low moan at the feel of him stretching and filling her. She slid herself down as far as she could go and then began to ride him, bouncing up and down mercilessly.

Nick was doing everything he could to make this last for her. He knew the moment was coming when it would be a lost cause, as her moans mixed with giggles were getting the best of him. Nick lost all control as he thrusted himself into her tight heat.

"Do it Nick, just do it!"

Once, twice more, and then he released himself inside her, feeling her muscles clench around him, his body finally going slack in exhaustion.

As Jess cuddled with Nick, she basked in the glow of her second orgasm. Nick placed a light kiss on the top of her head.

As sleep was starting to overtake Nick, he let out a sigh and never wanted to let go of the woman in his arms, or the moment he was in.

"I'm still sorry Jess."

"What the hell for now?"

"For not making a move way sooner…" Nick said as sleep finally took over.

The next morning, after another go-round, Nick drove Jess to her hotel to pick up her bag and gave her a ride to the airport. He walked her up to the ticketing counter, then the security check-in. Nick's nerves were again getting the best of him. He had no idea how this goodbye was going to go. As they approached the security stand, Nick felt his phone vibrate. Pulling it out he saw a text from Jamie

_I assume you stopped being stupid since you left me and Tony to clean up the party? Good job not using that college brain and just going with it._

Don't over think it.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye for now," Jess said cautiously. It appeared she wasn't sure how this was going to go either.

"Jess," Nick paused, trying to not repeat his confession from last night. "I have no idea how we would do this, but I can't let this be just a one night thing. In fairness to that night, it was incredible…but I want something…more."

Jess grabbed the back of Nick's head and planted a whopper of a kiss on him. After recovering, he kissed her back. When she pulled away, she finally responded to his words. "I'm glad to see we are on the same page Miller. I think I'll call you when I get home."

After a few more seconds, Jess pulled away, her face flush from the public make-out session in the airport.

As she walked towards the already long security line, she turned around once more to shoot Nick a smile that made his head spin. He tried his damnedest to stick with what was working.

Don't over think it.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Distance

**A/N: Plot summary of Chapter 15 for those who skipped: Nick and Jess go to Nick's apartment and have sex. The next morning Nick gives Jess a ride to the airport, they both admit that they want whatever they have to be more than a one-time deal.**

Jess was making her way to Clyde's and looking forward to meeting up with Cece. It had been a week since she had made her surprise trip to Chicago, and the work week had flown by. Jess didn't bother denying to herself why she was in such a good mood. After the day spent with Nick and the "encounter" at his apartment, she couldn't help but have a smile on her face when thinking about that last weekend.

Her and Nick had talked throughout the week, mostly about how their days were going. The conversations were light and reminded her of how things were before he moved out, except they were now over the phone. Sometimes they would text each other and Jess' heart always raced when she would see his name come up with a new message. It felt almost juvenile how excited she would get just to hear from him.

Walking into the familiar scene at Clyde's, Jess spotted Cece in a booth fairly quickly and made her way to said booth. Jess greeted her friend and a bartender she didn't recognize took her drink order. Cece noticed the exceptionally good mood that Jess was in, which was saying something for the school teacher.

"Seems like it has been a while since I've seen you, you seem awfully cheerful."

"Well, you know the work week, just so glad it's the weekend and all." Jess still hadn't told anyone the real reason of her last trip to the Windy City.

Cece took her friend's words in. She was immediately suspicious of Jess' true intentions for the trip the minute she told her she was going to a work conference for teachers, one that happened to be around the beginning of the school year in August.

"So, tell me all about your trip."

"It was good…" Solid work, Day. Probably should have come up with some more elaborate lies. "You know, the conference stuff was…informative." Jess offered no further detail, opting to take a sip of her drink.

So it looks like I'm going to have to beat it out of her again, Cece thought to herself

"Did you pay a visit to your old roommate?"

"I, uh…yeah, yeah I went and saw Nick. It was good to catch up with him again. He's still doing well out there. He says 'hi'. Other than that…nothing really new there."

Jess knew her poorly constructed story was unraveling before her. She really did want to tell Cece. Heck, she wanted to tell everybody how she felt about Nick. Jess just wasn't ready to think about how she could handle the situation of being very emotionally and physically attracted to someone who lived halfway across the country. She just wanted to keep living in her own world for a little while longer. She just wanted to go home after work and hear that gruff voice tell her how Jamie really should have paid closer attention in high school civics class, then he might know how the electoral college works.

Cece was seeing straight through her friends lie, but wanted to force Jess into openly admitting it.

"Did you see any of the sights this time around?"

"I don't know, like what sights?"

"Stop by the Navy Pier?"

"I didn't really-"

"The Sears Tower?"

"You know, now it's called-"

"Any of the museums?"

"Actually I've always wanted-"

"And how is Nick's penis?"

"It's really…" Jess stopped herself mid-sentence, her eyes going larger than normal and a mortified look on her face as she realized her admission.

"So you did see some _sights_?"

"It was really…"

"I don't need to know the honest answer to that last one. It's been kind of plastered all over your body language."

"Gooooooood. I mean…really good. There was also this time where he did this thing…" Jess' answer trailed off as her eyes glossed over and she stared right through Cece.

"Jess…JESS!" Cece exclaimed while snapping her fingers in front of the distracted woman. Jess regained her focus in short order.

"I'm sorry. That has happened pretty much all week."

Cece let out a hearty laugh. "Don't sweat it. No woman needs to ever apologize for having mind-blowing sex."

Jess took a few breaths to bring herself out of last weekend. "You know how I told you about the noises other women would make from across the hall when he had them over? I was always like 'Hell no bitch, you fakin'. I don't think they were faking Cece. Any of them."

A mildly smug grin came across Cece's face. "Color me surprised. So now what?"

"I don't know. I mean, we both said we wanted it to be something more than a one night thing, but we don't even live in the same city now. Why couldn't he make a move when we lived together? That would have somehow been easier to deal with than this long distance crap. Yeah, we're now talking so much more than before, but how do we even begin to build…whatever this could be?"

Cece took her friend's demeanor in as Jess slumped over her arms and rested her head on the table, all while letting out a frustrated sigh. Signaling to the bartender for another round, she patted Jess' arms with her other hand.

"I'm sorry honey, there is no 'I fell for my ex-roommate who lives 1500 miles away, now what do I do?' play in the best friend handbook. What I am going to do is drink this next round with you. If I know you at all, you'll get this one figured out."

"I sure hope so Cece. I hope so."

Nick mopped up the last of the errant spills from that night in the taproom while he heard Tony and Jamie in the back, hoping they were tidying up everything for the night. The work week had been a quick one. Every night he would lock up, and immediately respond to any calls or texts from Jess. The plus side to being so far from her was that she was always still up when he got off work thanks to the time difference. It was a minor plus, but a plus nonetheless. He wanted nothing more than to replicate the evening they had together. He was so excited when she surprised him by showing up to the party, and he was even more excited when she surprised him by waking up next to him.

Nick's significantly improved attitude was not lost on Jamie or Tony. Anytime Nick was left to his own devices since that night the guys would catch him grinning wildly. Although Nick hadn't opened up to either of the men about it, Jamie knew something good had happened with Nick's old roommate. Entering the taproom, Jamie saw his brother happily mopping up spilled beer. It was one thing to see him smiling. It was something else to see him ecstatic over wasted beer.

"Hey Nick, when you are done with that, why don't you start working on your door-to-door sales pitch."

"Maybe he could take your place as the customer interaction king," Tony added.

"What are you guys even talking about?"

"You, man," Jamie replied. "You have been smiling like a buffoon since the anniversary party. You know, the one where you ran off with Glasses Face and left Tony and I to do all the cleaning up."

"Hey, in his defense, she was a good-looking gal, certainly one worth running after," Tony admitted.

Nick walked around to the bar and poured himself a pint. He knew he would need at least three to himself.

"Totally worth running after…" Nick replied staring into his glass. "So yeah, we went back to my place and…"

"Ah, AHHHH, you totally nailed her, didn't you?" Jamie yelled.

"Damn it Jamie, show her some respect!" Nick took another long drink before continuing. "Look guys, I got it bad for her. Real bad. It's scary how bad I've got it for her." Finishing off his pint and refilling it, Nick was finally ready to admit how far he would be willing to go for Jess.

"I've been thinking I have to move back to LA. I have to see what we could become. I can't…I can't let her get away. Not again."

Tony and Jamie looked at each other before Jamie gave Tony a shrug. "Nick, you are my brother. I'm gonna support you no matter what you do. You know that right?"

Tony took this opportunity pipe up. He normally didn't get involved in the brothers' affairs, but he felt compelled to in this case. "I know what I would do man. I would make certain she knows how bad you got it for her. Let her know what you want, what you are willing to do to make it work." Nick nodded his head at Tony's advice. "And don't worry about us or this place man. We've made it this far, we can make it without you, especially for something this important."

Nick poured two more pints for the guys and handed them over. "Trust me guys, I appreciate the idea that I am replaceable." Nick finished his sentence with a frown before busting out a sincere smile. "I don't what I'm going to do guys, but you will be the second to know."

Tony raised his glass to Nick. "To good women." The other two men clinked their glasses and all three took long drinks.

Nick couldn't help but smile once more as he swallowed the malty liquid. To good women, indeed.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Decisions and Limbo

Nick busied his mind once more with the rush of the Friday post-work crowd. He had come to slightly dislike the Friday crowd, as they were the ones who were the sloppiest drinkers. Even the Saturday crowd had some decorum when it came to their alcohol consumption. The Friday crowd was just so relieved that they were out of the office that they didn't seem to care where the drinks they bought wound up.

Giving the table he was busing a quick wipe, he placed the rag in his back pocket and grabbed the glasses with remnants of leftover drinks. Bringing them back to the bar, he cleaned them as if on autopilot. As usual, his mind when not on his work was on Jess. Spending that one night with her had only fortified what he had thought and feared. He had fallen for her hard, harder than he knew he could fall for someone.

What made matters more difficult was their most recent phone conversation earlier that week. Nick had taken the last few weeks to really think through the idea of moving back to LA. It would mean he would have to 'sell' his portion of the business, which he wasn't sure how that would work, since they still had to pay off about half of their loan to Jamie and Deann. Jamie had insisted it would be no big deal, but Nick made a note to ask Deann if it was actually a big deal. Where it all got hung up on was revealing the plan to Jess.

When he told her he wanted to come back to LA, she immediately tried talking him out of it. It really didn't make much sense to him. He thought they were on the same page about what they both wanted, and they had even started openly talking about it over the past month. Nick struggled to fight off the nagging negativity in the back of his mind. She used you for some fun. You weren't as good as her other lovers, so she decided you weren't worth the time. She came to her senses and realized what a mess you are Miller. She met somebody new?

Giving his head an almost violent shake, Nick pushed all the negative thoughts out once more. He was confident that none of that seemed like Jess, but he couldn't help but think it. For all her talk about talking about feelings, she seemed more than capable to hit a brick wall herself. She never really gave an explanation about why she objected to Nick moving back to LA, just gave another awkward excuse before saying she had to go.

A customer tapping her empty pint glass on the wood bar caught Nick's attention and it gave his conscious a much-needed break. Arriving at the tall, slender brunette, Nick greeted her.

"What can I do for ya?"

"I could use another one of them Scottish Ales, if you please."

Nick grabbed a fresh glass and started to pour. He recognized the woman as a semi-regular, usually wearing skin-tight jeans and flattering tops. Today was no different. Finishing the pour, he turned back around to the woman.

"There you go, I know you have a tab open because that is the fifth one you've had today, but the name is escaping me."

"You caught me," the woman said with an overtly flirty smile. "Shitty work week calls for multiple good beers. Emily is the name of the tab."

Nick noted the beer on Emily's tab. Turning back around, she had made base on one of the stools at the bar.

"You know, I have bought beers from you for a while now, and I don't even know your name. Hardly seems fair for you to know mine."

"I'm Nick."

"Pleasure to finally make your acquaintance Nick."

….

Jess sat in an old rusty chair on the loft roof. The slight breeze cooling her off as it whipped her hair that, which was tied in a loose ponytail. She didn't come up here much anymore, but it felt good tonight to be alone, to clear her head. The guys had earlier insisted she come out with them, which she did. Her favorite moment of the night was when she was sitting at the bar, waiting to place an order, and she was able to take a selfie with guys in the background in a booth. None of them caught her taking the photo, so she was able to capture the boys in their element. She wanted to send it to Nick and caption it with something witty. She definitely would have if their earlier phone conversation hadn't taken place.

"Jess, I want to move back."

"You can't though Nick, what about the brewery?"

"I've already talked it over with Jamie and Tony. They are good."

"Nick, just don't do anything rash yet, ok?"

"Well, I'm going to do something Jess."

"But what will you do when you get here?"

The conversation continued, but eventually they agreed that nobody would move for now. Nothing would change. The tone of the call was far more subdued afterwards, until they each gave a very unceremonious goodbye.

That call was the obvious root of why she melted down tonight. After the random suit who she couldn't pick out of a lineup of Schmidt's old douchey friends tried to buy her a drink, she couldn't stop thinking about the man's polar opposite in Chicago. It finally came crumbling down when he asked her out on a date.

"Come on, just dinner and drinks."

"Look, I'm really flattered but-"

"Ahhh, let me guess, you have a boyfriend. The oldest line to lose a guy."

"Well…I don't know…we haven't…"

That's when the waterworks started. Jess tried to calmly excuse herself before running straight out of the bar and back to the loft, leaving Mr. Suit bewildered.

So here she found herself, on the loft roof. All the questions that had come up from that loaded conversation were haunting her. What the hell were her and Nick? What could they ever be if nothing changed?

Hearing the distinct creak of the roof door opening, she spotted Winston and Schmidt joining her, Winston carrying a six-pack of beer. They both came over and pulled up seats next to her.

"It's a nice gesture guys, but I'm not thirsty right now."

"Oh these? These aren't for you. I mean we are willing to share, but we figured we would need them more depending on how all of this goes," Schmidt said less than sympathetically.

After a shoulder shove and a disgruntled face shot at Schmidt, Winston cracked open a beer. "We assumed you would be up here. We also figured we could offer whatever help we could, ain't that right Schmidt?"

"Of course we did Winston."

Jess stared straight ahead, and then decided she was thirstier than she let on and grabbed a beer for herself. It was sweet how her roommates were looking out for her. Since she had moved back in they had tried to be the friend that Nick always was, always there to help her out.

"You know Jess, I have seen you have all kinds of reactions to being hit on, but crying and running out of the bar is a new one," Winston said with a hint of teasing.

"Thank you guys for looking after me, but tonight for once, I don't really feel like talking about it."

"You don't want to talk about how you and Nick hooked up?" Schmidt was a little more sympathetic this time.

"How did you guys know?"

Schmidt let out an incredulous sigh. "Have you ever hung out with our social circle? It was only a matter of time."

Jess felt a little relief in knowing that she didn't need to fully explain her sour mood to the guys. They stayed silent waiting for her to unload. Inevitably, the unloading came.

"I have no idea what is going to happen. He told me earlier this week that he wanted to move back. I didn't want to let him do that because he building a life in Chicago. He is finally doing something, applying himself, and he is doing a great job. He can't move here and take the brewery with him. What will he do if he does move back here? Go back to Clyde's? Work in some crappy office? I'm afraid a small part of him would resent me if he gave up what he had going just to be with me."

Jess took a moment to gather herself to prevent more waterworks. Winston and Schmidt continued drinking.

"Then on top of all that, I told him I didn't want him to move back, but I didn't really explain why. What if he reads too much into that?"

_But what will you do when you get here?_

It was meant to come out as a question about working, or living conditions. It almost seemed as if Nick had taken it to mean something that is simply wasn't.

Winston took another long drink then broke his silence. "I'm not going to pretend to be an expert in all things Nick, but I have known him a while. I think Schmidt would back me up on this…Nick is a man of action."

"How so?" Schmidt replied confused.

"I mean in the sense of the old phrase 'actions speak louder than words'. Nick says more with his actions than he ever does with his words." Jess tilted her head in pondering, Schmidt nodded his head. "Jess look at your actions in regards to Nick. You showed up and surprised him at his brewery, that's a plus. You spent the night at his place, that's a bigger plus I'm guessing in his mind."

The very faintest smile crept up on Jess' lips. It was a _big_ plus. Jess had to clear her head to catch Winston continuing.

"But now let's look at the situation. You guys talk and text for a while, Nick takes a leap and says he wants to move back, and you tell him not to. The actions state you both are still far apart, no matter what words you use you tell him how you actually feel."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be such a mess." Jess took another deep breath, willing back the tears. "I know what I want, I want him, I want to be with him."

"If it's any consolation, I guarantee you he isn't doing much better. I've known Nick a while too," said Schmidt with a hint of best-friend jealousy. "What?"

Jess shot Schmidt a glare, trying to get him to tone it down. "That's not helping right now."

Winston patted Jess on the back and then got up, grabbing his second beer. "So you know what you want? Great. Grand. Wonderful. Then act on it."

...

"NO NO NO! You don't get to take that!" Nick moved his glass from his brunette acquaintance. "You can't cut me off."

"Like hell I can't!"

Nick had crossed the bar and joined Emily for a few rounds at her behest. It had been a while since he drank this much, and he was thankful for a brief distraction. "If anybody should be cutoff, it should be you."

"You are right Nick. I should be cutoff. Are you going to cut…me…off?" The flirting was getting ridiculously obvious. Even in his very drunken haze, all he could think about was those blue eyes, and the way they looked at him in the morning.

"Look. I'm-"

"I'll make this very clear for you. I find you physically attractive and you don't seem like a psycho. I have had a real bad run with men recently. I mean, really bad. I've just been lonely and want to have a bit of fun, and then kick you out in the morning." Emily gave Nick what she tried to make a sexy smile. "Does that plan sound agreeable to you?"

"Under almost any other circumstances, in a heartbeat."

"Let me guess, you have a girlfriend…"

"There is a woman Emily. I have no frickin' clue what I have with her. I just know…I can't give up on it."

"So you aren't dating anybody, yet you won't even have some consensual casual sex with me. You really know how to kill a woman's confidence Nick." Staring back into her glass Emily continued to anybody who was listening. "I told ya, a real bad run…"

"I'm telling you...different circumstances…heartbeat. You are a very attractive woman. I just couldn't do that to this woman."

"Well, I hope she is worth it, passing up this," Emily made a motion with her hand in front of her body. She finished her motion with a genuine smile. Her problems weren't Nick's fault. She had enjoyed drinking and talking with him, but she wanted to be underneath him and screaming instead. Emily couldn't hold it against Nick that he was a decent guy.

"Well, what do you think about that guy over there?" Nick questioned pointing over at Tony, who was closing up for the night. "I'll vouch for him, he's a good man."

"I'm not usually one for beards, but I could make do for tonight."

Nick yelled out to get Tony's attention. "Hey Tony, do you think you could do me a favor?"

Tony nodded indicating Nick to continue.

"I seemed to have over-served my friend Emily here, whilst over-serving myself. Do you think you could walk her home? I just want to make sure she gets home safe." Nick turned to Emily giving her an evident wink.

"I don't know, I mean are you good to close up here man? Jamie already headed out."

"Bleer...Yeah…YEAH, I got this. Don't you worry! I'll lock up, you get her home."

Tony went to grab his jacket before returning and walked Emily out the front, with Nick trailing behind. Just as he was about to shut the front door, Emily said her goodbye. "Thanks for looking out for me Nick." She returned his obvious wink from earlier.

With Emily and Tony gone, Nick locked the front door behind them and turned around to the taproom that still needed a bit of work for it to be considered cleaned up for the night.

"Noooope, we are dealing with this in the A.M." Nick decided talking to an empty taproom made sense this time of night. "I'm Nick Miller, and I make my goals bitches! Goal number one: Don't sleep with Emily. Goal number two: Pass out in the office. I'm gonna make this happen."

As Nick stumbled to the office, he was thankful for two things. Springing for the comfier chair, and Tony still being around that night.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Acta Non Verba

Nick pulled his jacket a little tighter to him as a slight breeze kicked up. It was the last Friday of the month, which meant Nick went in a little early to the office to complete the sales tax receipts. He gave a slight nod to a passerby as he arrived at Perus Brewery. Unlocking the front door, he walked in and locked the door behind him.

Coming in early meant he arrived around 8 am. The taproom always seemed so quiet and peaceful on these days, always a far cry from their ever-growing crowds. He thought about how Jamie and Tony had said they would be fine without him, and how he wasn't entirely sure. With each passing day, it became apparent to Nick that he would have to make his choice. Stick it out in Chicago and keep building the business with his brother, or move back to LA to be with Jess. When Nick lay alone in bed at night, he knew there was no choice. Then he would come in to work the next day, he felt obligated to stay and help Jamie and Tony. He was getting tired of debating with himself. It simply was getting old.

Nick also had an overwhelming fear that the longer nothing changed, the easier it would be for Jess' feelings about the situation to change. He tried to convince her that there was no possibility of his feelings changing, but the words often failed him in spectacular fashion. Similar to the night that he babbled his confession, he never could string a concise group of sentences together. They had continued to talk and text, and he always looked forward to anything she had to say, although it seemed she was having similar problems with fully expressing her thoughts on their predicament.

Finishing the last of the receipts and placing them in a manila folder for their accountant, he looked to the framed picture of them on his desk. It was a candid that Tony had snapped from that amazing night. He had no recollection of Tony even having a camera at the party, but he also didn't notice much outside the gorgeous woman across the table from him. The picture showed the two of them lost in their own little world with the street in frame through the windows in the background. Both he and Jess had the fullest grins he could imagine. Is it possible that being with her would be like that all the time?

It was time to find out.

Nick pulled his phone out of his pants and noted the time. She would certainly be up, maybe already on her way to school. Dammit, Miller. Quit making excuses. Make another move. Find out if every day with her can be that damn good. Scrolling through his contacts, he dialed that familiar number. After a few rings, she picked up, excitement evident in her voice.

"Nick! I was just thinking about calling you. I just wasn't sure if you would be up."

"Yeah, I'm up. I had to come into work early."

"Nicholas Miller into work early? This is the Nick Miller formerly of Chicago, formerly of LA, now of Chicago again, right?"

"Very funny Jess."

"I know I am…" Jess said breathlessly. Nick also heard an increase in background noise from her end, but thought nothing of it. This was Jess, who knows what she was getting into this morning. "So what's up Nick?"

Nick inhaled deeply. "Jess, I have to tell you something." Nick's tone got serious, but Nick tried not to sound too serious to send her into a panic. "I am going to ask that you not interrupt…again."

Jess responded with a breathy, "Okay."

"I'm going to move back to LA. I'm going to move back to LA, and you can't talk me out of it."

"But Nick-"

"What did I say Jess?" Nick steadied himself, finally finding the courage to erase all doubts about how he felt about her. "I'm moving back to LA because…" Nick took a long breath, "because the answer to your question was…is…I love you."

Nick heard a slight yelp from Jess. "Nick…I…wh…what question?"

"The question you asked me…before you walked out that night. You wanted to know what I was going to say before you told me you were engaged. I was going to say 'I love you'. That's why I have to move back to LA. I can't sit and wonder about what we could have. I have to know for sure. I have to find out"

The familiar panic was beginning to build in the back of his mind, the panic that logic would say this is insane, to tell a woman you love her when you have barely anything resembling a relationship with her. He had pushed other women away by saying it too soon. This seemed like it was way too soon. It didn't matter to him. It didn't matter because it was the truth. He loved her more than he conceived was possible.

Nick heard nothing new from Jess but the background noise from earlier. It wasn't quite the reaction he was hoping for, but then again, he didn't really plan this all through. Nick had to face the possibility that he had made a mistake.

"Jess, if things have changed, or if you a freaked out…I…I would understand. I'm just tired of this situation, and I want to be with you. If you don't want that, please let me know." Nick's courage had vanished. "Please, just be honest with me."

"Nick, why would I-"

"Jess, I shouldn't have, I'm really sorry-"

"Nick!"

"I'm just in way too deep, and I can't deny or bury it any longer-"

"NICK!"

The memorable sound of Jess yelling at him halted Nick's train of thought. "Yeah," he replied sheepishly.

"You said you were at work?"

An odd response to what she just heard Nick thought. There is odd, there is Jessica Day odd, then there is this. "Yeah, I'm at work."

"Do me a huge favor." Jess took a deep audible breath. "Unlock the front door."

The realization of what she had said hit Nick like a brick wall. Bursting out of his office he ran to the front door, where he found Jess waiting with her phone to her ear and tears running down her face. What he noticed the most was that smile matched only by the shine in her eyes.

Unlocking the front door, Jess flung it open with enough force that Nick thought it would come off its hinges. The last obstacle out of her way, she jumped into his arms and attacked his lips with her own. The kiss finally erased Nick's nagging doubts that he had just made a mistake. Her lips were just as he had remembered them, soft and supple, and they made him fell amazing. Finally letting her go, she dropped back to the ground as they broke the kiss, some tears of joys still falling. Nick regained some train of thought, remembering that Jess lived in LA.

"What are you doing here? You have another conference thingy or something? How can you afford all of those flights?"

Jess couldn't stop smiling. She was fairly certain that Nick would be happy to see her, but his confession had blown her away. Trying to steady herself, she wiped away a few of the tears.

"Sometimes adults have savings accounts, Nick. Nope, no conference this time. Although, this trip is work related in a way. I was on my way to your apartment to stop by when you called. I ran straight here."

Nick scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, tilting his head to the side.

"I uh…I have some interviews…for jobs…here…in Chicago…" Jess said with her voice trailing off. After gauging Nick's surprised reaction, she explained further. "I was hoping that maybe that would convince you to not move back to LA."

Nick slowly began to process what she was saying. This amazing, odd, sometimes annoying, kind woman was willing to relocate just to be with him. The feeling left Nick speechless.

"So…are you okay with this idea or…" Jess questioned him.

"Jess, I don't know, I mean all of friends are in LA-"

"It's going to take a lot more than that to convince me not to do this Nick." Seeing Nick before her, he wasn't freaking out, he wasn't running away. It was clear that he was still shocked by her even being here. Looking into his brown eyes, she saw all the reasons she decided to apply for the jobs in Chicago in the first place. With a reinforced confidence, she laid it out to Nick. "The way I see it, you can't take your brewery with you, but I can teach anywhere. So I decided I am going to teach in Chicago. Even if I don't get a job, I am moving here. How does that sound to you Nick?"

Finally able to recapture some semblance of thought, Nick grabbed her once more and kissed her with all the passion that he could muster. She was moving. She was moving just to be his…girlfriend? It sounded slightly odd, but felt so right. Pulling back from her, Nick finally replied with words to her question.

"Yeah. That sounds nice."

Jess shot him another million watt smile, and his heart damn near stopped. Jess looked at the time on her phone.

"I hate to do this but I have to go, don't want to make a bad impression before I even get to the interview." Jess tried to make her way towards the door.

"Wait, when are you done?"

"My last one is at 3pm today. Did you have some plans, Miller?"

"Yeah…maybe we, I could take you out to dinner."

Somehow Jess' smile grew even wider.

"What, like a date?"

"Yes, exactly that. A date. I don't care where. I'll take you to the fanciest place I know, or a hot dog stand that serves all-beef Vienna dogs. I just want to take you Jess. Then I want to take you out again. Then I want to buy you some chocolates because its Tuesday, then-"

Jess burst out laughing. "Yes Nick, I will go on a date with you. It doesn't need to be super fancy, how about a happy-medium." Now it was Nick's turn to smile like he had hit the lottery. Jess opened the door to head to her first interview. She turned just before leaving. "Do you want to know why, Nick?"

"Why what?"

Jess laughed again, this time at Nick's cluelessness. "Why I want to move to Chicago? Why I want to go on a date with you? It's because...me too."

"Me too?"

"I love you too, Nick."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Top Three

After what seemed like the longest day at work, Nick left the brewery at around six. He and Jess agreed to meet at an Italian restaurant he frequented growing up. Nick got there a little early to get their names in, and sure enough she showed up right on time. Nick was at the bar with a glass of wine waiting for her. He immediately wanted to know how her interviews had gone, which she said went well. Jess wasn't certain if she would get an offer, but she felt positive about the vibe from the interviewers.

As the couple enjoyed their dinner, Nick told Jess stories about his family and growing up in Chicago. He revealed how his few positive memories of his father revolved around him taking Nick and Jamie to Cubs and Bulls games. Nick was glad he was able to speak so openly with her. It was something that surprised him how much he missed it when he moved away. Jess reveled in how much Nick seemed at ease this evening. When it came time for dessert, Nick insisted on them ordering the tiramisu.

"Oh my Nicholas, is it the best in the city?" she inquired like a southern belle.

"Heck if I know. It was just always my move in high school. Go on a date with a girl, bring her here, and get the tiramisu for dessert."

Jess smiled every time she realized she was on a date with Nick. This was happening. "Gee, will I be privy to any more patented Miller moves from high school?"

Laughing heartily, Nick replied "No, I think this will be it."

"I guess I would understand if you would. I mean, I know it can be easier to plan things out for first dates, try to calm the nerves and all. I can't lie, I was a little nervous about this evening. I don't know if I could call this a typical first date."

"You mean to tell me you aren't counting our Soup and Thermos Wine extravaganza as our first date?" Every time Nick thought about that night, he wanted nothing more than to go on a real date with Jess.

"No," Jess said through a smile, "I think I like this better."

It was hard for Nick to think of this as a normal first date though. They had already slept together, said that they loved each other, lived together. He thought he too was going to be extremely nervous. All it took though was a smile from Jess and he felt much calmer. The idea of calmness gave him an idea for their next activity. After Nick paid the waiter for the meal, he escorted Jess out of the restaurant.

Once outside the restaurant, Jess tried to get Nick to spill where they were headed next, which he stubbornly refused to reveal. Walking for about twenty minutes, they came up to a bench on Lakefront Trail and had a seat. Nick confided in Jess that he came here when he wanted to clear his head. Jess felt thrilled to share the spot with him.

Looking out over Lake Michigan, Nick felt incredibly at peace. This was a unique situation for a first date, so it was not surprising that he felt a little unusual. Sneaking a peek at Jess, he saw her with a very contented smile on her face. Clearly she was enjoying herself, even though Nick hadn't thought of any special activities for the evening. It seemed just sitting on a bench and looking at the lights of boats on Lake Michigan was just what she had in mind. The look on her face mirrored what Nick was feeling inside, pure and utter joy. Sensing he was looking at him, Jess turned to face him. Once again, she shot him a smile that made him lose all awareness of his surroundings. It was the kind of look he wouldn't forget for a long time. Anymore it seemed like a lost cause trying to sort out his favorite moments with this woman.

Seeing Nick deep in thought always intrigued Jess. Since the day she met him, she wanted to know what made Nick Miller tick. "What you got going on up there, mister?" she asked.

Nick smiled and looked back at the lake. Being honest with her had worked so far, at least recently anyway, why not indulge her he thought.

"Jess, this may sound kind of cheesy, but I used to kind of…'rank' my favorite moments or days with you. At one point I would even rank the looks you gave me. I think I did it to occupy my mind from other...possibilities. Anyway, I was just thinking to myself…it was easier to rank those things when we were just friends and roommates. Lately, it has been real hard to pick out favorite moments, days…anything. It's all just been…it has been great."

"Ahh, Nick, that's not cheesy. That's really sweet." She blinked a few times to keep her emotions from spilling over, and then gave his cheek a light kiss, causing Nick to smile again. "It's actually a brilliant idea! Let me try it from my perspective."

Nick had to laugh at her enthusiasm for what he thought was a silly little idea. He didn't mind her giddiness one bit.

"Ok, so my Top Three Miller days…in no particular order. I'm going to say this day is one of them." She paused to shoot Nick a smile. "The day of your brewery's anniversary party is another." She paused again to give Nick a wink this time. After the wink, Jess stared off into the darkness towards Lake Michigan, trying to sort through all the memories of her and Nick. She had plenty to choose from. Nick decided to prove his point.

"See, see! Not so easy is it?" Nick blurted out, interrupting Jess' train of thought. After a playful arm punch from Jess, she went back to contemplating before finishing her answer.

"Finally, I would say, the day we found out you didn't have cancer." Turning to look at Nick's dark brown eyes, she softly continued. "Yeah, those are my favorites right there." She then gave him a slow passionate kiss.

After Jess pulled away, Nick thanked the stars that somehow this woman had fallen for him. He was touched by her honest words. He probably could have assumed it, but it was nice to hear that one of her favorite days was the day they found out he wasn't going to die.

"Well I played your little game Miller, now you spill. And don't try to weasel out of this since you kind of invented this game. OH! I know, I'll change it up. You can't pick any of the same days I picked!"

"Wha-, you took two of my-, GAH!" Nick said with much exasperation. Jess giggled excitedly at her cunning to come up with a rule to perplex this grumpy mystery of a man. Nick took his time thinking about all the times he had with this amazing woman. It didn't matter if they were just friends or something more, his time with her always stuck to his brain. Even if he tried, he could never get this woman off of his mind.

Jess eyes beamed at him waiting for his answers. Nick continued to struggle internally with his answers, especially since she already laid claim to two of his favorites.

"Okay so one I guess would have to be the day of my dad's funeral."

Jess immediately became somber, feeling it was appropriate. "I'm sorry Nick, I have to ask why."

"The reason is because when you dressed up like Elvis and made a fool of yourself, it reaffirmed what I always thought about you. That you will go to any lengths for the people that you truly care about. It's easily one of your best qualities."

Jess blushed at Nick's kind words. She was surprised but glad that her actions that day touched Nick so much. It meant so much to her that her quirkiness helped him in a dark time.

Nick thought again about all the times he and Jess had. Thinking about that night of the brewery's party, he recalled the morning after…

"Ah! AHHH! I got another one! One of my Top Three Days is the morning after the brewery party."

"The day I left? Aren't you quite the charmer Miller?"

"Not because you left, you…BAH! Don't you remember the manner in which you left? Or what we did before I took you to the airport?"

Jess bit her lip and blushed again, this time for entirely different reasons. "Um…yeah. Yeah, I remember…"

Now it was Nick's turn to shoot her a smile. "So yeah, THAT day is one."

Jess sarcastically rolled her eyes and gave Nick a playful grin. "Okay, so that's two, smart guy."

"Okay, so in no particular order," Nick opened with a tone mocking Jess'. "My dad's funeral, the day after the party…" Nick again pondered about all the moments he had with Jess, and how it had become incredibly hard to pick out his favorites. Candy Cane Lane. Building her a dresser, her admitting she found him attractive. The night in the desert. Hell, even sitting on the hood of her car being mean to her to cheer her up was up there. Nick smiled to himself as the answer became suddenly clear.

"And the day you interviewed to become our roommate." Nick paused before finishing his thought. "Because that was the day I fell for you."

After finishing his list Nick looked to Jess who wore a look of shock. After a few blinks she grabbed Nick's head and placed another passionate kiss on his lips, then hug him tighter than he knew he could be hugged. Laying her head on his shoulder, she let out a contented sigh. She wanted nothing more than this night to never end. Sensing her long day creeping up on her, she knew that wasn't a realistic possibility.

"So did you have any more special plans or surprises Miller?"

"Not really." Nick shrugged sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I was kind of in a trance today. My mind was too far gone to make any plans."

"No worries. Like I said, this has been a good day."

"I guess now I was thinking I could escort you back to your hotel, walk you to your room and kiss you goodnight. You know, be a gentleman and all."

Turning to take in the sight of Nick running his hands through his hair, trying to play it cool, Jess knew what her plans were. "Let's just get me back to my hotel. We'll see what happens when we get there."

When Nick looked at Jess, he saw a woman who definitely had ulterior motives. He also saw a woman who loved him. "I think I like your idea better." Getting up, Nick offered her his hand, which she accepted. They then made their way through the downtown streets towards her hotel.

It was a Top Three kind of day.

**A/N: So we are nearing the end here. I know some reviewers were calling for "MOAARRR", which I appreciate, I will most likely be going with another chapter and an epilogue. Thank you so much again for all of the feedback. You have been terrific.**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: See ya

As the ripping of packing tape echoed through her now almost barren room, Jess blew her bangs out of her hair and placed the piece of tape on the final box which was on her bed. Smoothing it out, she sighed and leaned against the box. Taking in her room now, it hardly felt like hers. All that was left was her bed, her nightstand, her dresser, a dress that was hanging up, and a bag filled with some essential clothes and toiletries. Everything else was already packed away in cardboard boxes. The slow process of packing her belongings had giving her ample time to come to grips with the realization that she was leaving the loft. Seeing her room like this made it a little easier to take the bittersweet moment. She would be leaving a lot of good friends in LA, but she would be starting something exciting with Nick in Chicago.

Jess was very grateful that she didn't have to test her resoluteness when she said she would move even if she didn't have a job. A few weeks after her last trip to Chicago, she received an offer from a suburban middle school. She didn't wait long to accept it, thankful that she would have income after she moved. The situation was ideal. They needed her to start at the second semester, so she finished out the semester at her current school, and was in the process of moving over the Christmas break. The dress that she left unpacked was for the party tonight being held in her honor. After Nick left without allowing Schmidt to throw him a proper goodbye party, Jess knew there was no point in denying him this time. Moving the last box to the other stacked boxes, Jess heard Cece's voice from behind her.

"So, this is actually happening?"

Turning to the ex-model, Jess smiled. "I'm doing this."

"I can't lie, hun. I am proud of you. This is so unlike you, making such a bold move for a man. I like it."

"You know, it just feels…right." Jess could tell that her oldest friend was truly happy for her, but she could also see how Cece was mirroring some of the same feelings she was. Ever since Jess moved to LA, she was never far from Cece. Now she would be further from her than she had ever been. "You know, even though I have been really excited about all of this, you are aware that I am going to miss a lot of things about LA, namely…you."

"I know." Cece walked over to Jess and pulled her into a tight hug. "Unfortunately, I'll just have to get a new best friend." Cece pulled away and wiped a few tears from the corners of her eyes, while Jess let out a small giggle. "You, I'm sure, will have no problems making a bunch of new friends."

"Best friends don't grow on trees girl. What am I going to do without you Cees?"

"I would bet a week's wages that you are going to be just fine. Besides, you kind of already got a friend out there. Just unload everything on him, he can take it."

"I think I will unload on him, if you know what I mean. You see, because-"

"I get it."

"Gonna be lots of sexing going on, with my little Jess."

"It's kind of implied with the whole moving across the country for the guy."

"I suppose it is."

Patting Cece on the shoulder, Jess walked out of her bedroom to the dining room table where Winston, Coach, and Schmidt were sitting, double-checking Schmidt's party to-do list. As she walked over, she grabbed the wrapped gift she had left on the kitchen island.

"Okay guys, I know I said I didn't want you to get me anything as a going away present."

Now noticing the package in Jess' hands, Coach tried heading her off. "Jess, when you tell men who you aren't dating that you don't want a gift from them, they will take you at your word…every time."

"I know what I said, and I don't need gifts to remember you guys and all you have done for me. With that being said, I still wanted to make sure I left my little mark on this place."

Sliding the package on the table, the three men stared at it for a bit. Eventually, Winston reached for it and unwrapped it. After taking a moment to decipher what he was seeing, he offered Schmidt and Coach to take a look at it.

"Jess, is this-"

"Yes it is," she proudly interrupted Schmidt.

"You seriously printed something off, back in 2011? I thought you had a smart phone back then."

"I just wanted to make sure I didn't miss the interview."

"So you framed the printout of the Craigslist ad for this place," Coach said cautiously.

"Of course I did." Jess grabbed the frame back from Winston and went over the wall near the entry way. Delicately, she hung the frame up. Slowly the guys and Cece followed her over the hallway. "I walked into this loft at what was probably the lowest point in my life. I came in an emotional wreck. But then you guys took a risk on me. I turned the loft eco-system on its head, and you still let me into your little world. You showed me that I was right to hope for the best in people. Then you did it all over again after I left Sam. Now because of this place, I'm about to embark on another adventure. All because I took a leap of faith, and two-thirds of the loft voted yes." Jess ended her sentence with a look to Coach, who immediately looked at the floor. "I just don't want you guys to forget what this place means to me, what you mean to me."

There was a brief silence as the men gauged how to react to Jess' kind words. Schmidt was the first to break it.

"Well I normally don't like old things. I like new things, they are pretty and don't smell funny. Maybe we could allow an exception in this case."

"Well…yeah…um…I…its ice, nice Jess," stammered Coach.

"Are you crying, Winston?" Cece asked amused.

Sniffling a little, Winston responded. "ME? No, I'm cool. It's just really sweet, that's all. Don't you think its sweet, Cece?"

"I do, but I saw this coming a mile away. You should have seen what she did the first time I left Portland for a modeling gig."

Wiping away at his eyes, Winston walked towards his room. "I'm gonna go…get ready for the party, or do something manly like watch football."

...

Allowing herself to get lost in the cool breeze on the roof, Jess sighed and let a large smile pry across her lips. Schmidt had gone all out for her going away party. It seemed anyone who had meet Jess had received an invite, and she was moved by how many people had come. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, including Jess. She watched as Sadie and Schmidt animatedly argued about the best tactics for pleasing a woman. Their conversation was getting a mix of reactions from anyone that happened upon it.

Jess sighed again as she looked out over the LA skyline at night. There was little doubt that she was going to miss this city. It had been home to her for almost a decade, and there were so many memories with her and the gang. The evening was sentimental for her. She would be closing a chapter on her life, and she was now ready to leap into a life with the scruffy man from Chicago. A stumbling Winston and Coach broke her daydream.

"Jess, I need you to do me a favor. Can you go to my room and get my dumbbells? I need them to settle a bet with Winny, and neither one of us can go get them because…it's a long story. Could you just please go get them?"

Deciding that she didn't feel like getting to the root of the request, Jess made her way to the roof door. She assumed, probably correctly, that it would be quicker to appease Coach than to figure out what bet would be settled with free weights, and why one of them couldn't go get them. Walking down the stairs she thanked herself for not scheduling an early pickup for the moving truck, as the night was just starting to get cranked up. Strolling through the loft towards the hallway, she stopped in her tracks after turning the corner as she spotted a man wearing cargo pants, a thermal, and one of the largest smiles she had ever seen. Letting out a small shriek at the surprise of seeing Nick, she ran straight to his arms and kissed him with all that she had. Nick reciprocated just as quickly. They hadn't seen each other since Jess went to Chicago for her interviews, and they both wanted to convey how much they had missed the other. After what felt like an eternity, she pulled away and giggled in excitement.

"What are you doing here? When? How? WHY?"

Nick let out a hearty laugh, thankful that his gesture had flustered her. "I'm here for your party dummy. Plus I figured I could help you load tomorrow, and maybe accompany you in your journey…if that's cool with you of course."

"Of course it is cool! That's so thoughtful of you Nick. You didn't have to do that."

"I thought that since you've been visiting and surprising me that I kind of owed you one. It didn't help that the one time I came out here I didn't even get to see you. Plus, how many times are we going to be able to get the gang all together like this?"

Jess hugged Nick, thankful that she would have a handsome travel companion. "How did you know I was going to be coming down here?"

"I asked Winston for some help. Out of curiosity, how did the guys convince you to come down here anyway?"

"A fabricated bet that required dumbbells."

"Dumbbells? That's the best they could come up with? They had like, all night to think of something."

Jess laughed energetically as Nick took a peek into her room. Walking in slowly, he was taken aback by the site in front of him. With her stuff packed up, it hardly felt like her space anymore. Jess followed Nick in, still smiling at the thought of starting a new life in a new town, with Nick in it.

"Looks like you are all ready to go for tomorrow," Nick said as he turned to Jess. "I suppose now would be the time to say hi to everybody else and get our party on!"

Nick took a step towards the door, but stopped as Jess shut it behind her, leaving them in her room. She looked at him with an intense stare that gave away her immediate intentions.

"I think they can wait for a bit longer."

…

About twenty minutes later, Jess and Nick arrived back on the roof. Everybody seemed thrilled to see Nick again, and the celebration continued on in full force. Winston and Coach eventually did the math and figured out why it took Nick so long to come back up with Jess. Nick took the resulting grief he received in good stride, finding himself in a terrific mood this evening. He was enjoying the company of his woman and his good friends. It was just about a perfect night.

Eventually, the party guests dwindled in number until it was just Coach, Schmidt, Winston, Cece, Jess, and Nick on the roof. They sat in a circle around one of the many space heaters that Schmidt had sprung for to counter the slight chill. With the gang fully inebriated, the conversation was getting more and more emotional. They all were trying to make the most of their last party together. Nick sat next to Jess as they snuggled for warmth.

"Look, I know this is a thing now. I know it's happening, but it still is weird to see it in real life, in the flesh," Schmidt pointed out to Nick and Jess.

"Seriously, you didn't see this coming a mile away?" Winston asked.

"There are plenty of things he doesn't see coming from a mile away," Cece said sheepishly.

As the gang had another laugh at Schmidt's expense, Jess couldn't be happier. Hanging out with her best friends and snuggling with her man was all she really needed to commemorate her time in LA. Still, she thought, we could turn this one up to eleven and make the most of this night.

"Everyone get a fresh beer…I gotta say something. Everyone, freshies, now." Jess waited a bit, allowing everyone to crack open their new drinks. "I just…have to say this…this one thing. I just want you to know…" She trailed off, smiling almost fiendishly.

"JFK!"

…

Sliding the last box into place on the moving truck, Nick sighed in relief, thanking the gods that the long morning was coming to an end. Seeing Jess come up beside him reminded him of how he enjoyed waking up next to her, even if he was severely hungover. "You know, for a smart woman, you have some terrible ideas. Exhibit A is playing True American the night before you move."

"Sorry, it just felt right in the moment. That should be the last box, right?"

"I believe so. We can hit the road whenever you are ready."

Jess turned to the four people that she was going to miss the most from LA. First hugging and saying her goodbyes to her roommates, she mostly kept it together. When she hugged Cece, she gave up holding back her emotions.

"You have no idea how much I'm going to miss you," Jess said through small sobs.

"Oh, I have a pretty good idea. Probably about as much as I'm going to miss you."

As Cece and Jess were hugging, Nick said his goodbyes to Coach Schmidt and Winston.

"Hey man, you be good to her. Believe me, we will hear about it if you aren't," Winston light-heartedly warned Nick.

"That's one of the few things you don't have to worry about," Nick replied smiling.

As the couple climbed into the U-Haul, they gave each other a long look.

"Ready?" Nick asked.

"Ready. Let's do this Miller."

**A/N: Thank you as always for taking the time to read!**


	21. Chapter 21

Epilogue: A Slight Detour

Washing down her latest bite of sandwich with some more of the Thermos Wine Nick had packed, Jess smiled enthusiastically as she looked at the beautiful scene before her. The surprisingly vibrant mix of browns, oranges, and reds of the Grand Canyon set against the backdrop of the blue sky were something that all the photos just couldn't do justice.

As her and Nick leaned back against the moving truck, she felt incredibly at peace. Diverting her attention to Nick, she couldn't think of a time she was happier with her life. Even though there were plenty of reasons to think this thing between them wouldn't work, wouldn't make sense, they were all blocked out of her head now. Between his surprise visit to LA and their current pit stop, all she could think about were the positive possibilities of being with Nick.

"So is this what I can expect when I date Nick Miller? Everyday a new adventure? Romantic detours to the Grand Canyon?"

"I highly doubt that, Jess," Nick said while laughing. "Most days are pretty uneventful in my life, actually. I'm sorry if I'm setting up unreasonable expectations. Heck, Schmidt is the one who helped me figure out the best way to get here without letting you figure it out. So no, most gestures from me won't be this…grand…for lack of a better word."

Shooting him a smile, Jess waited for him to make eye contact. "That still sounds really nice."

Nick grabbed the thermos and took a swig of wine, thankful for its disguise from the nearby tourists. With him and Jess leaning on the front of the truck, they seemed out of place from the families and other couples who had parked cars that could fit in a proper garage. It all seemed too crazy to dream of just a few months ago. He was helping Jess move her life across the country, just so they could be together. With any other woman, he would have been scared to death by the current situation. With Jess though, all he needed was one of her trademark smiles, and his fears would be calmed, if not his nerves. Seeing that smile now, he was sure about one thing.

He wasn't afraid.

-The End-

**A/N: One last thank you to everyone who took the time to read/review/follow/favorite. I am considering writing a sequel to this about Jess and Nick developing their relationship in Chicago, but that won't be for a while because I have no plot or outline. Details. I will try a few one-shots here and there in the mean time. I wasn't surprised by how much work this multi-chapter was to complete. What did surprise me was how rewarding and fulfilling it was to write it. Thank you once again.**


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